Emotional
by EternalStarfire
Summary: When Alice suddenly dies, the family is left personal notes,listing the things that must and will happen and cannot be allowed to take place. What will happen when Jasper and Bella fall in love? How will everyone cope with a twisted mystery? B/J.
1. Gone

Author's Note: If I owned this and my name were Stephanie, then I wouldn't have to go to college. 

**BPOV**

The second we pulled up to the Cullen's house, I knew something was terribly wrong. Edward's hands had clenched on the steering wheel and he'd looked at me with fear and pain in his eyes. "Stay," he'd all but shouted at me as he'd dashed at vampire speed into the house. I didn't dare move from my seat, fearing that Victoria had returned, or worse, the Volturi were in town. I realized Edward hadn't turned the motor off, so I rolled the window down, and gasped at the sudden pain pulling at me. Before I was aware of it, I was weeping, not sure what was causing me to feel like I had when Edward had left me months ago. The hole forming in my heart though was much, much worse. By the time he came back out to the car, I was gasping for air between sobs clutching the dashboard and doubled over in the seat. Edward was staring at me through my window, then his head tilted upwards at the house, and I tore my eyes from the dashboard to see Jasper jump from the windows above and go off running through the trees. Edward peered after him for a moment, then took it as a queue to take me home as I almost passed out when Jasper flew past me, a fresh wave of pain crushing me. I realized it must have been Jasper who was causing everyone to feel so awful, because as he got many feet away, the pain lessened, then disappeared.

"Bella, I need to take you home."

"Wha-what happened," I asked, looking worriedly into his eyes.

All he seemed to be able to manage was, "Alice," his teeth clenching closed.

I didn't push him as he rushed me home. I ran up to my room to find him curled up in a ball on my bed. I rushed to him and wrapped him up in my arms, knowing that despite his bloodlust, he needed it more than anything.

"Please, Edward, tell me what's going on!"

"She's gone, Bella, she's gone."

"Who? Gone where?" It finally dawned on me, and I gasped. "Has she left us? Alice would never just leave!"

Edward looked at me, shaking from his dry sobs. I'd never seen him so broken in the time I'd known him, and I suddenly wondered if that was what I looked like when he'd left me that night in the forest, but it was much more painful to see Edward's beautiful face contorted in such anguish. "The Volturi destroyed Alice, Bella. She saw them coming and never told anyone about it. Jasper was worried when she left two night's ago and never called saying where she was, but it seems she already knew she was going ton die when she met up with them, because he found her necklace and wedding ring on a stump in the middle of the woods. She always said she would leave them behind for him if she was dead. She must have taken them off before she tried to fight them off. He found a note saying "if you read this, I've been destroyed," Bella!"

"Why? What has Alice done to anyone?!"

"Nothing of course! Carlisle believes she simply refused to join them for the last time and they gave her a chance to tell them your whereabouts, and naturally they got angry when she wouldn't take it."

I sucked in a breath, and hugged Edward harder, allowing tears to fall for the both of us. He didnt flinch away as he usually did, and I felt angry that it was taking the death of a loved one for him to allow me to hug him."I'm so sorry Edward. I know it never seemed it, but Alice really was my best friend, I really loved being with her!" He nodded. "What on earth will Jasper do?" I worried for the brother that I had always wanted to be closer to, and wondered if this would be my chance to.

"I don't know. We don't know where he's gone to, but he's in such pain that everyone around him will definitely notice. He's probably gone somewhere far from people. He won't want to hurt anyone."

I looked at Edward again, trying to hide the now irrational fear that because Alice was gone, the Cullens would leave me again. I choked it down and sighed. "I think I know where he's gone. Alice once told me about this meadow he would go to whenever he wanted to be alone. I'm pretty sure we would find him there, and Edward, "I looked into his topaz eyes, "I know I can help him. If you come with me."

Edward stiffened immediately and extracted himself from my arms. "I dont know about this Bella, he's dangerous right now. Even with me there, there's a good chanvce he will hurt you."

"I didnt ask you to let me go alone." I grabbed a sweatshirt from my closet. As I headed downstairs, it occured to me that maybe this was my calling, my chance to do something for the Cullens after everything they had done for me, It was the least I could do to comfort Alice's husband, the one she had loved so much. Everyone had loved her, me included, and it seemed I was the only one who was in a good emotional state. I wondered, as Edward ran me to Jadper's secret (well, not anymore) hiding place, if maybe it would be a good opportunity to gain some insight on the inner workings of the more mysterious and elusive members of the Cullen family. We had never been close, but I was determined to do whatever I could to help him, since he was my future brother-in law.


	2. News

**BPOV**

As Edward rounded the corner, I could feel Jasper's despair. I bit my lip when I saw him sitting in the grass under a huge tree, his blonde, curly head in his hands. His whole body was shaking with dry sobs, and my heart almost broke. It wasn't like anything I had ever seen, it was much, much worse. Absently, I wondered if I looked anything like that when I lost Edward. Somehow, my pain didn't seem as bad.

Edward set me down, pondered Jasper for a moment, then nodded at me to go ahead. I slowly, calmly as possible, walked over to him. To my surprise, his head whipped up to look at me, a frown creasing his perfect features.

"Bella," he said quietly. He sucked in a breath, and shuddered a little.

"Hi, Jasper. How-how are you?"

"You know the news, don't you?" He put his head back down on his arms, which he'd suddenly wrapped around his knees. "She's gone, Bella. Gone. Without me. And she promised to never leave me, to never lie to me. And she did." I sat down a good foot away, and sighed again.

"Jasper, everyone is as shocked and hurt as you are. But you aren't alone. We aren't going to leave you. Always, you always have us." I moved an inch closer, and he didn't move. I pressed on. "We aren't going anywhere."

"I don't even know how you can talk to me, after all that has happened, all that I have done-"

"No! Don't you dare say it! Listen to me, I don't _care_ what's happened, what you've done! I'm here because I actually know what you're going through. I lost Edward, remember? I though he was never going to come back." We both looked up at the sound of Edward's pained gasp. I didn't even care anymore if it hurt him. He deserved, needed to hear it too. "I thought…no, I _knew_ that I would have to pick myself up and move on. I thought he left me because he didn't love me anymore, that I wasn't loveable, unworthy. I was wrong, and that is clear now. You have to understand that Alice is only gone because she loved you, loved us all. She new beforehand, psychic or not, that you'd try and wipe out the Volturi if you knew what was happening."

He smiled at that, and it was so beautiful, so much more beautiful than my beloved Edward's crooked smile that I had to look away. I couldn't let Edward see or feel me flustered by his brother.

"I know you're right, but I loved her, Bella. She was my world, the only light in the universe, my soul mate, Now that she's gone; I have nothing, _am_ nothing. Nothing can bring her back."

"No, nothing can. But think about the fact that you have so many years of wonderful memories with her. When you are lonely, we're all here for you."

"Thank you, Bella. For everything you have said," said Jasper, getting up. I didn't even notice until he was already standing and looking down at me. I scrambled to my feet. Edward rushed to my side, ready to take me home. "Wait, Edward," Jasper said suddenly. "May I try just one thing?" Edward hesitated, staring warily at Jasper, before he nodded and let go of my waist. "Do not move," breathed Jasper,so I held myself as still as I could. Of all things, he hugged me, gently wrapping his strong arms completely around me. I allowed him to stay there like that, even as my heart beat quickly and his cool breath played across my neck. Finally, it was Edward who pulled me out of his embrace. I waved goodbye as he scooped me up and ran me home. He didn't stay the night, in order to mourn with his family, and for once, I was glad to be alone. I was allowed to think without him assessing my every movement, of my heart, of my breathing, of my body. And I could pretend the guilt I felt from opening up about the pain Edward caused me didn't exist. Honestly, I wanted to think about Jasper and Alice. Jasper's pain hadn't hurt me as much as I had expected it to, and I found myself fascinated by his grieving process. I'd suffered so similarly, but the fact that my being with him had ceased it, if only for a while, appalled me.

I didn't know why, but my dreams that night were filled with Jasper, including every moment I had ever spent with him. I even dreamt of my last birthday party, but this time, instead of leaning in to attack me, he'd leaned in to kiss me and everyone else in the room blurred away. I had startled myself awake, remembering a novel had given me as a present a few weeks ago. I'd never thought to open it, but I was overwhelmed with a need to see it. So I dug it out from the pile of treasured books on my shelf and held it in my hands. I opened it and a slip of paper fell out.

Curious, I picked it up and unfolded it. It was of course from Alice, and a small batch of tears fell from my eyes when I looked at her neat script. I forced myself to read it.

**Dearest Bella, **

**I hope you aren't reading this unless you feel you need to because it means I've left everyone behind. I ask you to take care of my Jasper, to love him, to hold him, to let him love you as Edward loves you. I know it makes no sense yet, but I have confidence you are meant to be with Jasper, and that Edward will understand someday. I loved Jasper deeply, Bella, and I know you're the only one who is able to give him the same love. I saw it years ago, and I knew then I would lose him at some point. But then Edward messed up the first vision, and I thought I'd be able to keep him. Edward never saw the first vision, but I told Jasper that I might leave someday. Please allow your heart to open. **

**Love, Alice.**

It kind of hurt to know that Alice had seen Jasper and I together, since I couldn't think of leaving Edward. Somehow though, I believed I would undoubtedly find myself in love with the elusive Vampire. I didn't know how soon or how deeply I'd fall for him, but there was now no chance that it would never happen. I didn't like the idea of hurting Edward, because I loved him so much, but I was sure that he wouldn't be the love of my life anymore.


	3. Lying

**Author's Note:** I don't own Twilight. If I did, Bella would love Jasper and she'd love Salsa as much as I do. I promise I don't intend for her to be too OOC, and I will let her clumsiness come into play soon! Oh, and Reviews (mean or friendly, I can take it) are very welcome!

**JPOV**

I knew that Alice was hiding something from me beginning with the day she hid a box in our closet. She begged me to never open it unless she was gone. I'd never thought much about it, figuring it contained her final wishes, and since we rarely die, it never occurred to me to look at it. I also didn't touch it because I knew she was clever enough to catch me, psychic powers be damned, and because I trusted her as much as she trusted me. Now though, my wife was gone, my world was shattered and I decided it was time to take the box down from it's resting place on the top most shelf.

For a while, I sat on the edge of our bed, just holding it, fingering its filigree edges and blue paint, contemplating what was inside. Bella was brought to my mind, as I wondered how it would be possible to move on. Now that I thought about it, there wasn't much to move on from. Yes, I loved her dearly, and I felt as though she loved me, but for the last few months, we'd been busy with other things and had spent very little time together. I remembered the last time she'd kissed me, and it hurt to realize it had been weeks since we'd last made love. But I could never forget her taste, a sort of spicy-sweet flavor accompanied by an almost floral smell, and the way she'd kiss me, she treated me like I was the one who stood barely 5 feet from the ground, delicately and chastely, even in the throws of our love making. It had once felt right, appropriate, but now I could only notice how much she resembled Edward and how he handled Bella. Bella. My savior. The one who'd probably bring me out of this mess, the girl Edward never let me near.

My thoughts strayed suddenly to the box, remembering I was holding it. I opened it quickly, to find nothing more than a folded up slip of paper.

**To my husband, my love, my friend, **

**I know you are scared and confused right now, and mostly heartbroken. It hurts me to know I'll never see your face again, never look into your eyes. But I am telling you that you will move on. I have seen it, and I know I mentioned it to you so very long ago, yet I have never told you the whole truth, the details. Bella is the one you are to spend eternity with, not me. I was the lead, and I did my job, I brought you to her. It will be hard for both of you, but you will discover the feelings hidden deep inside you, and you'll know Jasper, the reason Edward has never let you near her. All you have to do is ask her. If you do, she will leave everything behind for you. Edward will learn to understand the love between you, though it will probably be very hard at first. Give him time, and you will be fine. **

**I love you forever, **

**Alice.**

My hands were shaking when I finished reading the note. I knew a long time ago that although Alice had always thought we were meant for eternity, that she believed there was a small chance we weren't. Her judgment was always justified, always honorable, and I felt as though I could trust her even now that she was gone. I would have to do what she asked, what she _knew_ would happen anyway. Without really thinking about it, I took off for Bella's confident that Edward would not be there.

Sure enough, when I slipped through her window, I was hit by only her scorching scent, but only for a second, and saw her sleeping soundly. As I moved closer, the burn in my throat intensified, but after having spent so much time with Edward when he came home smelling of her, and having her scent throughout our house, it was more than bearable. I could savor her heavenly smell without threatening her life, even though I knew Edward held me in such doubt. Creeping closer, I whispered into her ear, "Bella, Bella wake up." I patted her shoulder lightly, hesitantly, and her eyes flew open. She turned her bedside lamp on and I felt bad about waking her when I saw the redness of her tearstained cheeks. She didn't look at me directly, and sat up a little.

"Edward?"

"No, it's Jasper." I didn't really have to say it because finally, she was looking at me. I choked a little on the small pool of venom growing in my mouth when she reached for me instinctively.

"Jasper? You do know it's 2 am and most humans are asleep, right? What's wrong?" Her eyes caught mine, and I successfully looked away. I didn't want her to see how black they'd become from all my self-wallowing. But then a wave of concern and regret rolled off her, and I couldn't help but automatically pull her into my arms.

"Bella, nothing's wrong. Everything's…right." I hugged her tightly, but not as tightly as I wanted to, afraid I might hurt her. She froze in response, but then slowly, her arms wrapped around my waist lightly, and she carefully laid her head on my shoulder. I could feel her heartbeat could hear it so loud and clear, and my mind whirled. It was so beautiful up close that I almost missed her voice as I wondered if Edward even noticed it anymore.

"You know, don't you," she said slowly, as she looked up at me, a wary look on her face.

I kissed her forehead in response, but then I couldn't stop myself from going further. I cupped her chin in my hand, and kissed her mouth softly. She responded in a way I couldn't have expected, kissing me back deeply and pulling at my shirtsleeves. I pushed her gently back onto her bed, holding my weight off her, exploring her waist and back, and her hands became tangled in my hair. It was obvious Edward loved her, but her actions assured me he never kissed her like this, and I couldn't seem to remember why until I took a breath when I pulled away to kiss her neck and was hit by her scent. She caught her breath in the moment I took to stare at her beautiful skin, and then launched herself back at me. All too soon, I had to pull away and clench my fist in my mouth when my mind began to cloud over from the proximity of her delicious blood. She looked at me, horrified, and squeezed her eyes shut. "We can't do this, not now. It's wrong." I removed my hand from my mouth and looked at her dejectedly and her heart fluttered. I smiled slightly when her mood changed quickly. "I mean, not yet." My eyes must have lit up dramatically at that because she blushed then took my hand lightly. "Alice has been gone for barely more than a day, only a day. Even though she wanted this and we want this, we have to wait a while, until everyone's healed."

I sighed from both frustration and understanding. "I know, you're very right. We should wait and lay low. I should mention that we are planning a funeral, you know for appearances. Charlie is of course invited." I smiled sadly. "Closed casket, naturally."

"Charlie really liked Alice, he'll be so sad to hear the news tomorrow. I wish I didn't have to tell him." She yawned, let go of my hand and crawled back under the covers. I could feel her guilt and sadness, but also the affection growing in the pit of her stomach as she smiled tiredly at me. "I think I aught to get some sleep."

"Then I should go." It felt strange to tell her goodnight, as I hadn't told anyone that in several hundred years, but I said it anyway. "Sleep well, my Bella." I kissed her hair since she was already falling asleep and swept out the window.

Upon returning home, I was surrounded by a completely somber mood, and all of a sudden, I became overwhelmed by my despair as it snuck back up on me now that I wasn't with Bella anymore. Since Edward was home, I pushed Bella to the far reaches of the back of my mind as I came in the door. Esme flew immediately into my arms, hugging me tightly.

"Oh thank goodness," she exclaimed as she held me, radiating so much love and compassion I wondered how she could hold it in. I hugged her back carefully, not used to the feeling. I was the most elusive of the family, and definitely not Esme's favorite. "How are you dear?"

"I'll pull through," I replied softly, hoping it would sound sad enough as Carlisle came in the room.

"The arrangement's have been made, all the announcements mailed out. Son, if you're up to it, may I have a word with you?" I was surprised by the love in Carlisle's voice, even more shocked by the way he called me his Son. I'd certainly never called him Dad or Esme Mom, not even in public. I never called them anything, actually, I realized.

Letting go of Esme, I nodded and followed him to his study. Out of habit rather than necessity we sat on the couch. I grimaced, trying to stir up the now short-lived pain I'd had when I first learned Alice was gone. I could tell it was working because Carlisle seemed to grow uncomfortable. I watched him with a hard expression, and Bella wandered her way into my brain, partly because she was comforting to think about, and also because I'd had the unfortunate experience of watching Esme and Carlisle together, seeing them very happy and in love. Bella was now in my head, and I worked to squelch the fact that I found her more beautiful than my stunning wife as soon as it popped in my head. Carlisle cleared his throat quietly and I snapped to attention.

"It seems that Alice has left everyone a note about her departure," he began. "Esme, Edward, Emmett and Rose all received one. Even I found a separate one."

"Bella and I as well," I stated in response, keeping my tone flat.

"Yes, Edward mentioned her having one as well, though he has not read it. He thinks she deserves privacy considering the contents of his own." He looked at me sharply for a moment, searching me for any hint of extra understanding on my face. I hardened my expression further. "It seems she planned accordingly for her demise. I am curious…did you…?" He waved his hand vaguely, a very un- Carlisle-like gesture.

"Did I know?" He nodded, and allowed anger to flow through me, feigning pain. "No. She never mentioned it." I shrugged. It was a great 'Jasper is grieving' movement. "I had no idea. In fact, I am rather shocked that there was no warning. Edward didn't even notice anything." I didn't know about Edward, but the fact that I was already lying just allowed the words to flow freely. I would be in deep shit if it continued for much longer, but I guess I already knew it would only get worse. It was to become a habit, and eventually, it would catch up to me.

"It is hard, I know, shocking. I have tried to reach those who are still friendly in Italy, but as it is their policy and their belief, I wasn't told anything. I am very sorry. I believe I have done all I can. Alice's death will remain a mystery unless someone changes sides, and I believe you are aware of how rarely that occurs."

"Then thank you, for everything, Carlisle. But I feel that it may be time for me to move on. I appreciate everything you and Esme have done for me throughout all these years, and if I do decide to leave, I plan to visit often. I will always keep in touch, it is my promise." I got up, and Carlisle looked saddened, and even a little…old. I must have hurt him somehow.

"I am sorry to heart this, but I do support you."

"It isn't as though I do not love all of you, it's just not my home without Alice, and it may never be again."

"When do you wish to depart," he asked as he smiled understandingly.

"A month or so, not too long from now. Once I secure a comfortable place to live, wherever that may be, and once all our-my-things, have been taken care of. Alice would want her things to go to the family, so Rosalie will definitely get her wardrobe, since she has certainly been envying it for quite some time." I shook Carlisle's hand with a somber expression, and left the room, avoiding Emmett and Rosalie on the way to my room. I reclined on our old bed for the rest of the night, reading in order to prevent Edward from prodding into our thoughts.

**Attn:** I am thinking of adding a few chapters from Edward's point of view, especially towards the end. Does anyone think it's a good idea to show the progression of Jasper and Bella's relationship through his eyes? Reviews please!!


	4. Decisions

**Author's Note: **I don't own Twilight. We all know I'd be rich if I did, and this would be Canon. He hem…let's continue, shall we?

**BPOV**

It had been three weeks since the funeral, and slowly, I noticed the Cullens were returning to normal. It was late July, so no one had to worry about school yet, so I spent much of my time on the phone with Jasper, when I wasn't with Edward, and so far, Edward hadn't noticed anything. Around him, I even allowed my thoughts to travel to Jasper and our time together, since he couldn't read my thoughts or my expression. Besides that, he chalked it up to my being in love with him when I would suddenly blush or my heart would skip a beat, and I was getting better and better at seeing it coming and either averting it or making contact with Edward's lips. I sometimes wondered if he could tell the change in my kisses, but he didn't show it.

What bothered me was the fact that I had to contend with was his intent on constantly discussing Jasper's jumbled and random thoughts, and the fact he suspected he was hiding something. I simply chose to ride it out and then remind him Jasper was an empath and that he might not want his feelings displayed 24/7. It only made me angry when Edward had chuckled and told me that I cared too much for other people. I bit my tongue because I was tired and so not in the mood to chew him out about _his_ lack of compassion for others, so instead I mused on how long I'd be able to pretend that I still loved him. Jasper had slowly but surely kicked Edward out of my mind and body, so much so that I barely reacted to his touch anymore.

One night, as soon as Edward announced he had to visit Tanya at Denali with Carlisle, would be gone for three days and two nights, I found myself telling him I would miss him then forcing him out the door. After I was sure he'd left, I called Jasper, and as soon as the car left the driveway, he sped over to be with me. I didn't notice him coming in, but was ecstatic when he greeted me with an icy kiss to my neck. "Soon," he breathed into my ear, the cool air chilling me and exciting me, "soon I will pack our things and we will leave this place."

"I still haven't figured out what to do with Charlie," I replied, allowing him to pull me onto the bed so I could sit comfortably in his arms. Suddenly, he set me down and lay next to me, a few inches away so he wouldn't chill me on this rather cool summer evening. I continued anyway, trying to brush away the small physical rejection. "I mean, he'll probably freak out when Edward can't find me in my room in the middle of the night, and comes over in the morning in reply to Charlie's distraught call. They'll both be frantically worried, and they'll think I've either killed myself or run off to La Push. But when Jake tells them he hasn't seen me in months, they'll finally put two and two together. Edward will hunt me down, or at least he'll try, thinking you dragged me off unwillingly." Jasper chuckled and raised his eyebrows. "I-I can't hurt Edward, Jasper."

"What? You can't do what he did to you?" He sat up suddenly, his slight anger evident in his eyes. "You'll hurt him no matter what you do, Bella. You'll never avoid it. But, anyway, I think I have an idea. I'll leave a week or so early, if you can deal with that, you'll pack up, and I'll come back and get you. It's easy to disappear when you can travel anywhere in the world. You still have your passport?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Did you ever want to see Europe?" He smiled again, and I couldn't help it, my heart jumped.

"We're going to Europe?! It's the perfect idea!"

"I know. But you know, it doesn't matter where we go, we'll be together no matter what. We can love freely, and no one will be there to stop us." He pulled me close for a kiss, but he broke away, and I found myself tucked in under the covers. I sighed. He seemed to think he knew what I was thinking about because he sighed as well, closed his eyes in his signature way of composing himself. "I know what you'll ask me. But there is no way I can promise it, no matter how much I want to. If you choose to be one of us, I'll try to change you. Or I'll even take you to someone else to ensure your safety." My eyes widened. I hadn't exactly meant that, but it wasn't as if I'd never thought about it. I had been so deeply in love with Edward a month or so ago, and now that Jasper had become my life, I was afraid he'd also expect me to marry him. I knew it was trivial and stupid of me to deny marriage to any man I loved, but I had bad experience with love and marriage, and honestly, I felt as though I was backwards. Sex and love came before marriage in my book. I didn't know about Jasper, but I sincerely hoped he wouldn't ask me to marry him before he changed me or made love to me. Sex was one thing I definitely wanted to experience as a human. "We'll spend eternity together," he continued, running a hand through my hair in a loving gesture. A wave of love and contentment washed over me as he touched me, and hugged me gently.

I snuggled closer and dared to kiss him on the tip of his perfect nose. He pulled away swiftly. I realized what was wrong immediately. It wasn't happening on his terms anymore, I'd scared him. "I'm so sorry Bella, you just surprised me." As he pulled me back to him, I looked into his eyes and gasped in the lowlight. Whether it was lust or hunger making them that way, his eyes were black. "Jasper, oh my goodness, your eyes! Go hunt, right now!"

He looked hurt. He let his voice raise a fraction in his frustration, but not loud enough to wake Charlie. "No! I can handle it, I swear to you! I've been going longer and longer so I can be used to you, so I will never threaten your safety." I was appalled, and yet also a bit proud of him.

"That isn't healthy." I moved away sharply, and pointed at the window. "I know how long you've gone, and I'm proud of you, but you have to take baby steps. I won't allow you to torture yourself for my benefit." He nodded, defeated, but a small smiled played at the corners of his mouth. I allowed myself to smile too, because the idea of me commanding him to listen was ludicrous, and yet he was doing it anyway.

"Alright, little human of mine, you better be asleep when I return. I love watching you sleep and I only get two nights with you."

"Just go," I replied, laughing a little when he swept past, leaving me with the hint of an icy kiss to my lips.

Two nights later, I woke up extra early so I could say goodbye to Jasper before Edward came home. He looked worried when I awoke before the sun, making a comment on whether I'd gotten nearly enough sleep, but he seemed to figure that I was so excited and worried about the day ahead that I couldn't help myself. I kissed him for a moment before he swept through the window, and he allowed himself to linger his lips on my neck and his hands reached my back before he finally disappeared from my arms. I threw my clothes in the hamper along with the sheets, showered, sprayed the room and remade the bed, and settled into a book when I was sure I couldn't smell Jasper at all.

Just as I turned the page to the last chapter, Edward came to the door and Charlie begrudgingly let him in. He flew up the stairs and into my room, and when I saw him, my face fell a little, as I had stupidly thought it would be Jasper. I quickly recovered by saying that he reminded me I'd forgotten the wash. I got up and hugged him tightly, trying to imagine Jasper's arms around me instead of Edward's. It seemed to work.

"You missed me, didn't you," he whispered sweetly.

"Yeah, I guess I did," I lied carefully. It shouldn't have felt so awkward being formal with him like I had been for so many weeks now, but the feeling wasn't about to go away. He was once the love of my life, I tried to remind myself, but there was really nothing I could do. The love just wasn't there anymore, and I wondered if it would have waned on its own eventually. I sidestepped him the second he let go, and walked slowly down the stairs to the laundry room, grabbed a box of crackers to occupy myself after I got the wash in the dryer and dragged myself upstairs. I sat Indian style on the bed, munching on the crackers, glad that Edward couldn't hear my thoughts as they kept wandering to Jasper.

"Bella," Edward said all of a sudden, his voice beautiful, but definitely not Jasper's deeper less tenor sound. "You're quiet this afternoon."

"Hmm?" I glanced at him and found him inches from my face. "I guess I've just been thoughtful lately."

"About what, love?" He moved a stray lock of my hair behind my ear, something that normally would be a very tender moment for us. Now it just seemed overdone and commonplace because it wasn't Jasper. He looked lovingly into my eyes, and I tried to get my heart to flutter like it was supposed to, imagining Jasper's eyes and our first kiss. It didn't work very well, and I caught Edward's momentary confused expression.

"Oh, you know, lots of things," I sighed, choosing to dance around the truth rather than hurt him before I really had to. His eyebrows knitted in irritation.

"I suppose this is one of those times where it would be better if I could hear your thoughts, isn't it?"

"No!" I didn't mean it to be so full of emotion, but I couldn't help it. I grabbed his hand, folding it over my own. "Really, it's just mindless things that get me bothered, things that get me down." No need to mention that he had become one of the latter, and that not being with Jasper bothered me. "Not including you, of course." One more lie in this conversation and I might as well have just melted from the fires of hell. I knew I was a terrible liar, and the idea that he was eating it up made me feel so horrible.

He moved up and pulled me into his arms, an action I didn't expect.

"Really." It wasn't a question. "I know you have needs, Bella, believe me, I know. But I can only promise to extend our, uh, 'together' time. I want to make you happy." Indeed he seemed to mean it when his lips crashed into mine, and he pulled me to him and pushed me back onto the bed. I went with it, not daring to stop him, and his hands were suddenly at my hips, pulling at my jeans, and his lips at my neck, lightly sucking and biting at my skin. I rubbed my hands over his back, and since he had moved to my hips, I settled them in his tangled, messy hair. Minutes later, he pulled away, clenching his mouth together, in his usual state of pain, leaving me breathless and guilty for causing him pain when I didn't even want to kiss him. What surprised me to no end was the fact that Jasper, the 'new' vegetarian had lasted far longer, successfully riding of my clothes, and only stopping when I'd gently pushed him away, not wanting my first time to be cheating. We both knew Edward would notice anyway, and so he hadn't been hurt when I'd sent him home.

"I won't be back tonight," he said suddenly.

"Are you going hunting?"

"Yes, boy's night out kind of thing. Though Jasper doesn't wish to join us, which is unlike him. He usually enjoys watching Emmett take down a bear or two." I wondered vaguely if he was implying something, so I shrugged my shoulders. In truth, I didn't remotely wonder why. "Come to think of it, Emmett said he didn't see much of him this whole weekend.

"Isn't he leaving soon," I asked casually. "Carlisle mentioned it the other day when you went looking for my lost sweater. Remember?

"Ah, yes, I do. He asked me if I had any idea why he was choosing to leave after all the time he's been with us."

"Alice has only been gone for a month, Edward."

"I mean that Alice was the only thing keeping him here. He said once he hoped to leave someday, but that hurt Esme, and he said that it would only be a small move." Edward smiled faintly. "I think he just didn't want to hurt her. He _should_ leave. Nothing's keeping him here now."

I only nodded once, and munched on a cracker. "It's almost time for dinner," I said quietly.

"I should be going then. I have to talk to Emmett. I love you."

I almost choked on my cracker in response. "I love you too."

Finally, my day with Edward was over. I sighed, and hurried downstairs to make dinner for Charlie. I got out all the ingredients for pizza, and busied myself with that for a little less than an hour, until Charlie strolled in. I fixed him with a large smile.

"What are you so happy about, Bells," he asked, chewing on a large slice. He smiled. "Mmm, delicious pizza, by the way."

"Thanks." I chewed my own slice carefully, the looked at him meaningfully. "Dad, I know that you don't particularly like Edward, but I don't want that to affect this conversation."

Charlie grimaced at Edward's name, and sighed. "Bella, what's going on?"

"I don't want you to mention any of this to him when he comes around. Don't even think about it." Charlie raised his eyebrows at me. "I'm thinking of breaking up with Edward, Dad."

"Why? After your history, I would have thought you would hold on to him as long as possible." The ever-helpful Charlie Swan fixed me with an almost smug look. I could tell he enjoyed the idea of me leaving Edward. If only he knew who I would be with next...

"Well, Dad, let's just leave it at this: I've met someone else." Now, Charlie allowed his cheeky grin to show fully, and I rolled my eyes in response. "I told you not to make a big deal out of this..."

"I'm sorry Bells. It's just that I've always known he wasnt right for you. I always hoped you'd find someone else, but I thought he made you happy so I never tried to stop you."He paused a bit, and looked down at his plate. "And it isnt as if I dont hear him tell you how much he loves you."

"I dont think I love him, Dad. But I'm not leaving him just yet. I have to figure some stuff out." Like how I was going to explain suddenly introducing him to Jasper, and how I was going to be leaving soon, not planning to return human. I finished my pizza and did the dishes in order to escape the room. Charlie wasnt done though, with the conversation, and as i went to leave the kitchen, he seemed unable to stop himself from giving me some advice.

"I know you'll make the right choice, and whatever that is, I'll support you." He smiled and went to watch sports in the living room. Sighing, I went back upstairs to my room. I finished reading my book, then emailed my mom, hoping it would be enough to make up for the fact that I hadnt written to her much in the last couple of weeks and I knew she was worried about me. I even mentioned my conversation with Charlie, wondering what she'd have to say. Of course, I figured her answer would include me coming back to Arizona.

I left my window open for some air and turned in a little after 10. In the middle of a glorious dream about Jasper, I awoke to someone gently kissing my hair, breathing my name into my ear. I opened my eyes to Jasper's golden orbs and smiled. Sitting up, I took his offered hand, not sure what this was about. He seemed to be bursting with anticipation because a wave of excitement rushed through me and I cocked an eyebrow as he pulled me into his arms.

**Attn:** The next chapter will be all Jasper, and hopefully it will include a lemon. (If I have the time/patience to write it) I am going to have a mini poll If you want Edward to hear something in Jasper's thoughts, write: "attack" in your review. If you think Edward should try to get with Bella, write "kiss me". If you want Jasper to tell Carlisle he loves Bella, write "love." If you think it's time to include a chapter with everyone's notes from Alice, write "note." You can choose two, btw. Thanks!!


	5. Not a ChapterAuthor's Note

**Author's Note: **

Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted and favorite-ed my story! I really appreciate your support. Here are the results of the poll and my decision for the continuation of my beloved story:

Next few Chapter's will include:

Alice's notes to everyone! (everyone seems to like this one)

Edward Attacking! (I like the idea myself)

Jasper confiding in Carlisle.

Not to disappoint anyone, but Kiss will be saved for later chapters, or sadly, it may not be included. I will have to decide on that later.

The 5th chapter and maybe the 6th will be up this weekend!

--Flora---


	6. Revelations

**Author's Note:** I own this laptop, this story, and this jar of salsa. I will never own Twilight.

**JPOV**

I lifted my sweet Bella into my arms as soon as she awoke and took my hand. "I want to show you something," I whispered into her ear as I helped her onto my back and out the window. I ran into the forest, straight through and up the mountain out of the cloud bank. I was heading to my favorite, a picturesque view that humans couldn't reach easily, where the air was clear and fresh and the ground untouched. I was elated by the love and excitement she radiated despite her drowsiness. I chose an ancient pine tree that reached out over the valley and climbed up to a high, strong branch. For a while now, I had wanted to show this to Bella, as it was a place that could be only ours. Unfortunately, again I realized how horrible my timing was, as I'd chosen to show her a beautiful sight in the dark of night, and she would hardly be able to see as much as I could. I looked up at the moon, and wondered absently if she ever looked at it and thought it to be beautiful.

In all honesty, I was very happy Edward was gone because I didn't have to block my thoughts as much, yet he had come home wallowing in pain and confusion, and it surrounded him as he'd rushed out for the "camping" trip. I wondered if he already knew he was losing her, and being who I was, I felt compassion for him, as he was family, and I was taking the only love he'd ever felt for a century.

Carefully, I set Bella down next to me, holding her gently but securely. After all the times she'd fallen in the time I'd known her, I was aware of the danger I was posing, but I knew if I needed to, I could protect or save her. We looked out over the view, and I almost jumped when Bella's breath caught. She'd been silent this whole time, and yet I had a feeling she'd been slowly taking it all in. "Oh Jasper, its beautiful!"

"I was worried you couldn't see it."

"I love the way the moonlight makes the trees kind of glow and the water rippling down there is just so serene."

"I come here when I need to think or to just try and feel at ease with nature. I mean, as much as most people hate it, Washington State is really quite magnificent in the rain and snow. And it never gets too hot, like tonight, there's a breeze." I smiled slightly into Bella's hair, hugging her just a little tighter. She seemed to have to tear her eyes away from the valley, and fixed me with a loving look. I reflected my own overwhelming feelings as my un-beating heart swelled a bit. "Bella, you've made me so happy these last few weeks. I never expected this to happen to me, but being around you just knocks the air out of me."

"Have I taken the air out of you?" She smirked a little as she looked up at me. I couldn't help but smirk too, loosening my drawl.

"Many times darlin'." I glanced down at my watch and couldn't suppress a groan. "Bella, it's late. I should get you home."

"I don't want to go home yet. Besides, I think we need to talk."

"Um, about what," I couldn't hide my surprise. I wasn't expecting her to say anything along these lines, and yet I had a sinking feeling that I knew where this was going.

"Jasper, we need to slow down. Don't you feel like this happened a little fast? I mean, Alice died, and a little less than a week later it's like she never even existed. For myself, I almost kind of always looked at you differently then anyone else besides Edward. But I knew you and Alice were in love, and I thought I loved Edward. But it's like the very first time I saw you, I knew there was more to you than just a plain exterior. I knew you were hiding your emotions, I just knew it. And I know you and Alice weren't the same anymore over these last few months. She told me she was worried about you, but she didn't say why." She looked down again, shrugging her shoulders, and I wouldn't have needed empathic abilities to know she was sad.

"Bella, I don't care how fast this happened. I knew it was going to happen eventually, from the way Alice looked at you when Edward brought you to the house. She knew you'd be great friends, yes, but she also knew you wouldn't always love Edward. It was only a matter of time before she had to drag me to Seattle so she could tell me Edward would lose you and I was to keep you two happy as long as I could. She wanted me to cover you with love as much as I could. But I didn't do it Bella, I didn't do it! I was selfish, and I didn't care if Edward kept you or not, I didn't want you to love him. But you did anyway. I didn't even know why I cared so much about you. But I know now why I do. Edward sucks the life from you, and he'll never give you up without a fight."

Bella gasped again. "Alice asked you to force me to love Edward?!"

"No, not force you, but enhance your feelings, so you would forgive him for leaving last year, because Bella, you may never realize how much Edward loves you. Sometimes he actually hurt me when we left, because he just couldn't live without you, and yet he tried to. I couldn't even look him in the eyes, it felt so much like I was being ripped apart, and he didn't even realize how much I actually felt. I demanded that he go back to you, and when he didn't, Carlisle asked him to leave. I don't think I've ever been so emotional about anything in my whole life."

"Then what do you want me to do? Should I deny my feelings for you and stay with Edward so he doesn't hurt? Because if you ask me to, I will do it Jasper, I'll love him."

"You know I'd never want that Bella. It's wrong, but I want you. I need you, and I will do whatever I need to in order to keep you. I don't want to fight Edward, but if it is asked of me, I will stop at nothing short of destroying him."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just feel like such a horrible person. He loves me, Jasper, and a part of me will always be dedicated to him. He was my life, but you are my eternity." She climbed into my arms and onto my back, and I rushed her home. "Goodnight, Jasper," she whispered as her head hit the pillow. I watched her sleep for a moment, then ran back home.

As soon as I got into the house, Esme and Rosalie called me into the den. "Jasper, we need to talk," Esme began carefully, holding a folded piece of paper in her hand. Rosalie shifted her weight uncomfortably, and I noticed she too was clenching paper in her hands. I could tell it was going to be one of those talks that everyone tries to avoid but is forced to deal with eventually, and I backed up a little.

"Jasper, we know what's going on between you and Bella. Everyone knows, except for Edward. But he's aware that he is going to lose Bella soon. We wanted to show you what Alice wrote to us. It might make you rethink this relationship with Bella," Rosalie said. I knew she never really liked Bella all that much, but it seemed to me that she was really concerned with what was best for Bella. I took the paper she offered to me and opened it gently.

**Emmett and Rosalie,**

**I don't really know how to say this, but now that I am gone, Bella and Edward aren't going to be in love much longer. You both know as well as I do that Edward is extremely devoted to her, but I can't say that Bella feels the same way anymore. I bet you have noticed Jasper's fascination with her, and undoubtedly my passing will bring them together. I ask you to help them before you help Edward. It is what I wish of them, to embrace their love for each other, but it is clear that it will destroy Edward. It will be hard to hide this, but you must do your best, for his sake: if everything works out the way I see it in my mind, you might end up having to destroy Edward in order to protect Bella. Otherwise, her change wont be on her own terms and he will kill her in his attempt to keep her his. Please try to save him and never allow him to know what is to become of him. I love you both, especially you Bear, Tink will miss you wherever I go.**

**Love, Alice. **

I tore my eyes from the paper, and looked at Esme, who was clutching the table so hard it was starting to bend from her strength. I didn't dare look at Rosalie, who was radiating so much hate at me I wondered if she was taking this too personally. "Look what you've done, Jasper. I hope you're happy with yourself. You're going to get Edward killed!"

"Jasper, I only want what's best for both of you, but this isn't what he deserves. You had your chance at love, and you're stealing his only chance. You know his feelings better than anyone, but even I could tell he was worried last night. He's already losing her, and its killing him inside. You have to stop this, Jasper. You have to leave Bella alone." I knew it was hard for her to say that, to be so honestly mean to me. I also knew beforehand that Edward would always be her favorite, and I would always be the son who was never really a son. She wouldn't choose between us, but she wanted Edward to be happy.

"Esme, I love her. I really love her. I always have. At first as a sister, but only because Edward wouldn't let me near her with a granite ten foot pole. I fell in love with her because Alice told me I would, and she was right. Bella loves me because for some reason, she likes who I am no matter what. She is my future. Alice was my past. You are the one's who can't let that go!" My voice was rising in volume but I wasn't even angry yet. Or was I? Was this what my world was coming to?

"Jasper, the future is always changing. Change it for the better and leave Bella with Edward. You know it's what's right, even if it's not what you want. It's understandable to want to love again, it really is, but Bella is not the girl for you. And she never will be." I wanted to kill Rose in that moment. And I would have thought she'd defend me, but of all people, Esme and Rosalie were the ones telling me I was losing this battle. I knew Emmett would back me up, but then again, he wanted Bella in our family any way possible, since he liked her so much. I didn't know where Carlisle would choose to sit on this, but I had a feeling he wouldn't choose my side. After all, Edward was like a firstborn son to him, he would always get the things he wanted. And I knew I'd chosen to be left out of the happy family, I'd chosen to be distant, and I almost regretted it now.

"What are you going to choose, Jasper? Your own selfish desires or what's best for the family? You know what you want will tear this family apart, don't you?" Esme circled the table nervously, still clutching that damned paper in her hand.

"Let me read that note, Esme, and I'll decide." She hesitated, of course, glanced at it, then placed it slowly (for vampires anyway) in my palm. I stared down at it, knowing what it might and might not contain. I couldn't wait any longer, so I opened it.

**Dear Mom and Dad, **

**Thank you for everything you have done for Jasper and I. You've given us so much over the years, and supported us through the thick and the thin. But it's time to stop supporting Jasper. He's going to fall in love with Bella, and Bella will fall in love with him. He disobeyed me when I asked him to keep her with Edward, he never helped them. I'm sorry I couldn't convince him to help, and I know that it's hard on you all to watch Edward be so hopelessly in love with a woman who was always intended for him but who will never want him. In this case, maybe he's always been in love with her, curious about her blood, maybe, or just jealous of Edward's good fortune. And maybe Bella always knew that Edward was just the road to the thing she's always wanted. I ask you now to kill them both, if it comes to be necessary, for I feel that Bella's life is in great danger if Jasper allows himself to do what he wants. Edward will kill Bella unintentionally if Jasper is not forced to leave. But he must say goodbye to Bella or Edward will lose her in death. I love Bella, and I know that as a human, she will have trouble resisting his advances, but she will also be naturally torn between duty and selfish want. Make Jasper see reason, that he may love her, but to save the family, he may love her only from afar.**

**Love, Alice. **

I couldn't believe how Alice had handled us all. It was just some extremely calculated conspiracy she had concocted in her head. She wanted to cause drama, but she wanted me to be happy. I guess she decided that it was better to tease me with happiness, and then when the vision changed, rip it from me. Well, I would do what she wanted, but on my own terms. I realized that Esme and Rose were staring at me intently, and then sensed confusion and worry as well as calmness and excitement come in the door. I turned around to glance at Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward, who were peering at the scene before them curiously. Edward's face had contorted into wariness, and yet Carlisle's expression hadn't wavered. I cleared my throat, and turned back to the girls.

"I'm leaving then. I've decided. I will no longer burden this family with my problems. I am packing and leaving within the hour." Rosalie lost her vacant smile, and wrapped her arms around Emmett, who had found his way to her side, while Esme looked ashen, even for a vampire, and Carlisle moved foreword to comfort her.

"Is this what you want," asked Carlisle, eyeing the paper in my hands.

"No. It's not what _I_ want. But it's what's best for _you_ all."

Edward was eying me suspiciously, and so I looked him straight in the eye, moving towards him on my way to the stairs. I paused before I got there. "Take care of Bella, Edward, for me. She is an amazing person and I want only the best for you two." He looked mildly confused, and so I let him remain in the dark, keeping my thoughts hidden as I vaulted the stairs and began to pack to leave. I had some unfinished business to attain to, but I had no idea how to tell Bella I was leaving without her. She would be hurt, and I would feel horrible. But I did know that the one thing I wanted before I left was the taste of her mouth on mine, to feel he soft skin one last time, to run my hands through her dark tresses…no, I wanted much more than that. I wanted to feel the top and bottom and everywhere in between of her body, I wanted to taste more of her skin than just her neck and lips, and I wanted to feel her, watch her writhing beneath me in the bed, as I made love to her in a way Edward never would.

I wanted Bella to be mine, no one else's. I would tell her goodbye, but I would return when the time was right. I just hoped she would want me to come back. As I left, I looked back at the house to think of all the fond memories I once had. Now, they were just reminders of the family I would never really belong to. I started the engine and headed back to town, for Bella's house. I wouldn't stay long, only long enough to kiss her and say goodbye. She would think I was leaving to start our plan, but eventually, she would forget I was supposed to come back and get her, and Edward would have her in his arms, where she belonged.

**Attn:** Yay! Another chapter. I know, I made the Cullen clan a little darker than they should be, especially Esme, but Edward is her favorite "child" so I thought it made sense. Jasper/Bella Lemon next chapter, I promise. R&R if possible


	7. Searching

**Author's Note: **I own this story, but I'm not Stephanie. I am hoping this chapter helps to clear up all the questions you, my lovely readers, have been asking yourself (including: what the hell is up with Alice?!!) But I also want to warn you, there will be a section in Edward's POV, as well as Jasper's. Enjoy! Ps. There is a lemon in this chapter, so don't read if it offends you.

**BPOV**

I wasn't expecting to see Jasper come in through my window so soon, dripping wet from the rain, his curls matted to his pale forehead. And yet there he was, standing in front of me, trying to smile. I knew he was only trying, because it wasn't his normal, carefree, toothy grin, where my heart would start pounding and I wouldn't be able to contain my own smile. It was as though he was trying to say nothing at all to me, trying to say it through a smile. But I had no idea what the problem was, and though he had woken me up, he hadn't come near my bed.

I decided to start off nicely, hoping he'd spill at some point. "Sooo, you're here early."

He nodded. I tried again. "Um, why is that?" He didn't even move a muscle in his face.

Finally, he smiled for real and appeared at my side. "I'm leaving tonight. So I thought I'd just kind of say goodbye."

"Really? You're leaving tonight? When are you coming back," I asked excitedly. "You know, to get me?"

For some reason that escaped me, his smile faltered, but it quickly reappeared. I was suspicious, but I tried not to show it. "As soon as I can, I will. But it won't be for awhile, I don't know how long I'll be gone. Which is why I had to see you now, I couldn't leave you without a kiss." He leaned in and pulled me to him, kissing me hungrily, as though he was afraid it would be his only chance. I mentally smacked myself. Of course he would act like this, who knows how long it will be before I see him again? I kissed him back, running my hands through his hair, but what he did next scared me a little. He pushed me down onto the bed as usual, but then he made for my jeans zipper. I gasped a little, but his lips silenced my small protest, and he pulled them off me.

I knew I had to retaliate, so I pulled at his shirt, trying to get it off quickly, yet as seductively as he'd removed mine. Of course I couldn't do it, and he assisted me as though it didn't matter. His lips reached my collarbone, and then he proceeded to nibble at the skin where my neck and shoulders connected. Kissing up my neck to my ears, his hands roamed around, falling at my waist, to my breasts, to the small of my back and next thing I knew, I watched the white blur of my bra fly across the room, landing in the growing pile of clothes. Before long, our lips and hands roamed freely, all clothes forgotten and abandoned to the floor, as we slipped under the covers. At some point, it occurred to me where this was going, when I looked down into Jasper's eyes, to see them glazing over to dark pools of black. But from the lust we were both creating was flowing through us, and I knew it wasn't my blood that was making his eyes change. My eyes widened.

"Bella," he groaned out, when he looked at me, noticing that I'd stopped kissing him. He pushed back on me a little, starting to push me away, but I pushed him back, grabbing at his arm, looking him straight in the eyes again, now that they were focused.

"Wait, I-I don't want to stop," I barely managed, painfully aware of the blush filling my cheeks. He sighed and replied with a kiss to my forehead.

"Are you sure you want to keep going, I'm-I'm a little afraid. I've never done this with a human. Not that I can recall from the last two hundred years," his voice was rough and shaky, and yet he still chuckled, as he touched my red cheeks. I appreciated the cool of his fingertips; as I felt so hot, he wiped a little sweat off, and then bent down to kiss me again. His hands roamed again, and he cupped a breast, then breaking our kiss, his lips trailed down my neck to my breasts, and he kissed the one he held in his hand, his tongue swirling at the nipple. He bit down gently, and I couldn't suppress a moan as I arched my back into him. He repeated the move with the other, and I was starting to lose it, tangling my hand in his hair helplessly, as I wrapped my legs around his hips, noticing the heat that had grown between my legs. He was so cool against me, but I loved the feel of his skin, even the thousands of scars that covered him from head to toe. He tensed a little when I felt at the group of them at his throat. I knew that he hated them, but I couldn't help but be fascinated. In truth, I found them to be beautiful. I tentatively kissed them, and he immediately stopped what he was doing. I didn't know he was that sensitive about it, and so I couldn't meet his eyes very well, as they had filled with shame.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, biting my lip. I tried to soothe him a little, rubbing his arms.

"You, you just scared me, again. I'm covered in hideous scars,

Bella; I don't know how you haven't noticed."

"I think your scars make you unique. I mean, I know that you didn't get them in a nice way, of course you didn't, but I could never find them hideous!" I knew I sounded a little crazy, and I wished we weren't having this conversation now, but since we were I knew it was important to him that I was honest about the scars. He seemed reassured, because he kissed me again. His tongue was tracing patterns on the inside of my mouth, and I smiled a little when my hands on his abs made him groan into my mouth. He flipped us over, so I was underneath him now, and he was in control. Gently, he unclenched my legs from his waist, pushing them down and apart, never losing contact with my lips.

"Thank you Bella, for that," he said, pulling away and kissing my cheeks again. "I don't want to scare you, but this is going to hurt, no matter how gentle I try to be. So I want you to tell me to stop when you want me to stop, and I am going to kiss you. When it hurts, just bite down. As hard as you need, you can't hurt me." He kissed me again, and positioned himself between my legs, keeping his weight off of me with his arms placed at my sides. I was already scared, but he was sending soothing feelings to me, and I relaxed a little, until he entered me, and I couldn't help but cry out a little. He shook me a little, as I saw stars, and I remembered to bite him. So as he went to kiss me, I bit down, and he eased out. The pain lessened, and I nodded at him. "Are you alright," he asked, anxiously, and I tried to smile.

"I'm okay, keep going, please," I said, kissing him again. He didn't break the kiss as he pushed in again, slowly thrusting. As the pain lessened, it was replaced with a wonderful sensation, and I allowed myself to let go a little. The second he saw me relax and adjust to him, he started to pick up the pace, and I tried to lift my hips to meet his each time, that is, until he went off flying and I couldn't keep up. His breathing had grown ragged, and I wondered if I was panting as loudly as I thought I was. His lips left mine again, roaming to my chest, flicking his tongue on my nipples. I moaned again, from the two sensations of him inside me and the coldness of his tongue. I didn't want him to feel shorted, so I tried to give back, nibbling at his ear and his shoulders every time I was able to catch my breath. At my every touch, he was shaking and tensing, and I was surprised to see his eyes close a little as we started to climax. When he opened them again, they were pitch black. I fixed him with my own yes, and he smiled when he finally came, allowing me to ride the waves after him. He pulled out and pulled me into his arms. "I love you Bella," he breathed quietly into my ear.

The air caught in my throat, and I allowed the tears I'd been holding in to fall freely. "I love you too, Jasper." Before I knew it, I fell asleep pretty quickly, even though I put all the strength I had to fight it.

**JPOV**

I kissed Bella goodbye once she was asleep, and with one last look at her sweetly slumbering form, I left. The second I got to my car, which was parked a ways down the seat, I couldn't stop myself from beating on the steering wheel, wanting to just demolish the whole car. I felt horrible for leaving Bella in the way that I was, but I told myself that she knew I loved her no matter what. Leaving Forks was harder than leaving Bella's room, as I passed the outer limits, it just felt weird to know I would probably never return. And if I did, I wouldn't be returning to my Bella, I would be returning to Mrs. Edward Cullen.

As I drove, my thoughts turned to Edward. For months now, he had been a cauldron of emotions, as he faced indecision on his feelings for Bella. I knew he had been planning to ask her to marry him, I'd even happened by his room to see him fingering a very old ring, which I knew to have been his mother's. It was more than obvious he wanted Bella to wear it, and it was magnificent. But I knew that it wasn't Bella's style, that she wouldn't like it very much, and that even if we weren't in love, she would only wear it because it would make Edward happy.

Once, I even wanted to ask Bella if she was happy with Edward, before Alice was gone. I had had the perfect opportunity, a few weeks after the incident in Italy, one of the rare moments we had been alone. But Edward had heard my thought before I'd voiced it and he'd come downstairs just in time to intercept it. Rosalie had suddenly laughed raucously in the kitchen with Alice, calling me in, simply to show me her little "project Emmett." I'd suppressed a chuckle myself when I'd found a very disgruntled Emmett dressed head to toe in a white suit with a pink tie. Though I had personally thought he didn't look too bad, my opinion had changed when I'd asked Alice what it was for and she told me Rosalie and Emmett were renewing their vows for, like, the thirtieth time. I really never liked weddings in the first place, but it only got worse when I as appointed Best Man. Oh, how I'd wanted to die at that.

Naturally, I'd been forced into the same horrible get up by my pixie wife, and even though I'd complained and complained, refused her advances for sex and flat out ignored her for a week. I still hadn't gotten my way, and she'd forced me to bend to her will in the unique way that all women do. It was the only night in the history of our marriage that I hadn't wanted to have sex. I think I might have even chosen human food over it, but fearing the consequences later, I had given in and let her have her way with me. It didn't last long, and of course she was pissed at me. She had gone off shopping in response, telling me, "I can't believe you are doing this to our marriage." In all honesty, I hadn't really cared. I knew she was a bit twisted, and when she felt the occasion called for it, downright cruel.

Now, my next problem was what to do now that I was on my own. Part of me thought Bella was better off, and yet part of me wanted to storm home, rip Edward apart and take Bella with me. I knew I could never do the latter, not because I was afraid I wouldn't win, but because no matter how much I loathed him, Edward had never done anything that should earn him death. I knew what I was going to do, when I reached Seattle. I would go to Italy and find out what had happened to Alice, buy a house somewhere nice, someplace Bella would like, and when I was had a plan, I would go back to Forks and get her. The next morning, I put my car in storage, transferred my funds to an international bank, disconnected my old cell phone and boarded a plane to Italy. I didn't know where my journey would take me, but I hoped it would eventually return me to Bella.

**EPOV**

There was something different about Bella when I came to see her the day after Jasper had suddenly left. I think that maybe she felt it was her fault, but I couldn't tell because she wouldn't talk about it. I spent maybe an hour with her, much less than I usually did, but she asked me to give her some space because she had a lot to do in order to get ready for school, which was coming up in a few weeks. Charlie had arrived home anyway, and I didn't want to have to explain how I was in her room and yet my car wasn't in the driveway, since he knew full well I never got a ride anywhere from Bella.

When I got home, I found myself heading to my piano, Alice's note in my hand and my mother's ring in my pocket. I didn't know what the two had in common with a piano, but as I began to play, I suddenly stopped myself. I opened the note to read it for the second time.

**Dearest Edward, **

**Now that I'm gone and you're reading this, it has occurred to me that the family will be depending on you more than ever to keep them safe. It also reminds me that you won't have to remind me to "keep my thoughts to myself" ever again. I bet you'll miss that. Although I know you'd rather I not peek into your future, I just can't help but tell you this: I am afraid that things will happen in the next year that will turn your world upside down. Bella will marry you, and she will become a vampire, that much is certain. What is cloudy is the fact that the circumstances surrounding these events are cloaked in sadness, peril and tragedy. I am afraid that Bella's change will not be a happy affair, rather that of misery. All I ask of you is to think about what's best for Bella, when the time comes, not what you want. **

**Good luck and all my love, Alice. **

I had no idea what Alice had seen in my future, but I didn't like it. I knew for a fact her notes to everyone else had been disturbing as well, and I found myself afraid of what might happen to my darling Bella. I wouldn't curse her with this existence, I had promised myself that the day I'd realized I was in love with her, and nothing would push me from this decision, nothing at all. Whatever it was that would endanger Bella, I would destroy it before it reached her. For a moment, Victoria flashed through my mind, but there had been no sign of her for months now, and at this point, there was no reason to suspect she would return. Unless…

Unless she was behind all of this. It hadn't occurred to me before, but now that I thought on it, I couldn't believe I had been so blind. Victoria must have been the one to get Alice killed; she could have easily contacted the Volturi and pleaded her situation. Naturally, the Volturi would have thought it a good idea to off Alice if she refused to join them, and Victoria must have guessed that Alice's death would drive Jasper out of here. And with them both gone, she wasn't so outnumbered, and would have the benefit of a sneak attack, since Alice wasn't here to tip us off.

"Carlisle!" I called loudly, not even caring that I was acting like I was talking to a human. I dashed from the room and met him in the kitchen, where Esme rushed to my side.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

"It's Victoria. She did all of this!" Carlisle and Esme exchanged a worried glance, while Rosalie and Emmett's thought's left the book they were reading and they too dashed to the kitchen. I ignored everyone's single thought: Is Bella safe?

"All of what, son?"

"This! Alice is dead because of Victoria! She contacted the Volturi so they would off her for her. Naturally, she knew Jasper was an empath and Alice's mate, so she knew it would drive him out of here. She's breaking our ranks, so she's not so outnumbered. And now, she has the benefit of a sneak attack!"

"How do you know this," exclaimed Rosalie, as she took in our parent's expressions. Carlisle was deep in thought, so deep that I didn't want to prod into his mind, while Esme had knitted her eyebrow's with worry. Emmett, being the only one who thought with his muscles, was creating battle tactics and trying to decide the most satisfactory way to destroy Victoria.

"I'm not sure. It just occurred to me, and it's so simple, it just makes so much sense."

"Well, what are we going to do," Carlisle asked suddenly.

"We have to get Bella out of here," Esme began. "I'm going to call Charlie and invite her to go camping for the week. We'll go to Seattle, it's a big enough city that we'll be secure there, and if Victoria is anywhere near Forks, that's where she'll be, since she can easily hide from us there. With all the murders that happen, a few humans going missing or turning up drained of blood wouldn't be more than a tiny blip on the police radar."

She swept away, and took the cordless phone outside with her. Her thoughts turned to creating the perfect way of asking if Bella would be able to leave with us. I turned back to Carlisle.

"If we all go together, we'll have strength in numbers, since she isn't bound to come back here, there isn't any point in having someone stay behind." Rosalie and Emmett squeezed each other's hands, relieved that they wouldn't be separated this time. I nodded at Carlisle.

"As long as she's safe, Carlisle. That's all that matters to me."

The next day, I was packing Bella's suitcase in my Volvo, and waving goodbye to Charlie. She still didn't know that we weren't actually going camping, though she must have guessed something was up since my car wasn't stocked with even a tent. Still, she fixed me with a good look, and said, "I don't think I should be going camping with you guys. I mean, I'm a hazard to myself, let alone anything else I come in contact with, and I'm bound to get hurt." She looked out the window before she continued. "I mean, aren't you guys just going to hunt most of the time?"

"No, Bella, we aren't." I sighed and turned on the radio rather low, as more of a distraction for myself than anything. "We aren't even going camping."

"What?"

"We're going to Seattle in search of Victoria, and we figured it'd be best if we just took you with us rather than if we left you here. At least you'd be well protected."

"Is she coming after me again?"

"Well, I'm not positive, actually. But we have a hunch that it's her fault that Alice's is dead and Jasper is gone." She jumped when I mentioned the two missing members of the family, and I reached for her hand, trying to comfort her. She took mine in hers willingly enough, and I continued on. "So we're kind of going to try to hunt her down. I don't want her to be a threat to you anymore, and even if she's given up on trying to kill you, the world's better off without her." She sighed, and turned back to the window, closing her eyes. When her hand went slack in mine, I knew she was asleep so I let go of her. As soon as we reached our hotel in Seattle, I called Carlisle to ask what we were to do next. Since Rosalie was already at the hotel, checking in our rooms, I parked the Volvo and scooped Bella into my arms, not wanting to wake her. Rosalie raised her eyebrows at me when I carried her into the hotel room, then took my keys and got our luggage. Laying Bella down on the bed, I took a moment to just look at her as she slept. Taking her sweater and shoes off so she could lie more comfortably, I found myself admiring the curves of her body and the softness of her skin and hair. I would never understand what she thought was so plain about herself, I told myself, as I took in her full, pink lips, long dark locks, and creamy skin. To me, she was the epitome of beauty, mind, body _and_ soul. And I would never do anything to change that, even if it meant denying myself an eternity with her in my arms. I was content with this for the next few years, until she outgrew me and went in search for the love she deserved. Even if she felt she wanted to be with me this way forever, something told me she would change her mind in response to the conditions I had laid out.

She wouldn't like the idea of marriage, no matter how much she loved me. I had allowed it to become the one thing that could be in the way of immortality and be the one thing that she loathed the most. If she never married me, she would never experience sex, and she would never be a monster. If she was alright with simply suffering the loss of these things then we would be alright in the future, at least for a while. As much as I longed to experience these things with her, I knew that if I tried, it would end badly. How badly our relationship would suffer when I chose to ask her to choose marriage or a life alone was in the future, and tonight, I just wanted to watch the beauty before me.

**Attn:** I hope this cleared some things up, and also if it fried your brain a little, then my evil plot twists are working! Finally, all the notes are done, as is the first lemon. For the following chapters, a few things to keep in mind: Will Jasper find what he's looking for in Italy? Is Victoria behind all this? Will Jasper return? Will Edward and Bella get engaged?


	8. Loving

**Author's Note:** No, I don't own Twilight, so stop asking for a signed copy. I'm sorry this took so long to get finished!! Jasper's back!! I promise, there are more chapters to come.

**BPOV**

I decided that I hated my life the second im I woke up in a hotel in Seattle. Memories of the day and nights beforehand swam before my eyes and I felt like crying. Jasper was gone, and I was going to have to survive waiting for him to come back to me. Closer at hand was Edward, and how I was going to handle leaving him. He noticed I was awake even though my head hadn't yet left the pillow and was instantly at my side.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, smiling at me in his genuine way. He bent down to kiss me but I moved my head to the side so he could only kiss my forehead. He didn't seem to mind though, and pulled back, still smiling. He was still exquisitely handsome, his face near perfect and his hair the same bronze color that had once captivated my world, but he could never compare to Jasper. Jasper's curly blonde hair was soft and inviting, and cherubim face was just…in a word, devastating. Even when he wasn't smiling, even when he was sad, he could never be called ugly, and when he was smiling, it was as if the sun had just come up in all its glory. But, as I let Edward hold me, I wondered if Jasper had made love to me because he wasn't coming back. And if he wasn't, where did that leave me? Stuck in a relationship with a man I didn't love anymore, the man who considered me to be his only chance at happiness. As I looked up at him, I could see all of the wonderful things about him that I had once loved, and realized that I would always love him. Maybe a small part of me still loved him in the same way as I had come to love Jasper.

"Edward, why do you love me?" I didn't know why I was asking him this, but it might have been because I was looking for something about me that I could amplify to make leaving him easier. He tensed a little, and then chuckled.

"What kind of question is that, Bella?"

"The kind of question I want an honest answer to," I replied, moving out of his embrace so I could turn to look right at him. I looked at his eyes, and noted how they had narrowed a little at the edges. "Is it that hard?"

"It is, because it sounds like you're asking me to stop loving you." Sadly, he had it perfect. It was exactly what I was asking him to do. "Which I know is ridiculous." He reached out for my hands, and held them together in his. "I love you because I want to, Bella. I love everything about you, except from the fact that you don't seem to understand that I do love you, with all my heart. It's as if you forget that sometimes." He suddenly left me, appearing at the couch, where he'd left his coat. He took something from its pocket, and then reappeared on the bed. "I was going to wait on this, Bella, but I just can't anymore." My world fell apart at those words. I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't know what I should do. Telling him yes would give him false hope if Jasper returned, but then again, I knew that if Jasper never came back, then at least I would be in a loving relationship. Telling him no was the right thing to do, but I figured he would think I meant no because I didn't want to get married, not no because I didn't love him. "I know you seem to loathe the idea, but I really want to do all this properly. I love you, and for some reason, you love me to, and that should be enough to lead us to get married. I don't want to be your boyfriend forever, Bella, I want more than that. I want to be your husband. And at this point, I'm willing to negotiate anything for you to just say yes."

My brain was screaming at me to say that I didn't love him, that I could never marry him, and that I really wanted to go home. But I couldn't make myself say it to his face, and I realized I never would. Even if I really wanted it to be, my place wasn't with Jasper, and it never would be. I belonged with Edward, no matter what Alice thought. As she had said, the future was always changing with the decisions people make. Jasper chose to run away, leaving me behind, never to return. And I had to choose to be with the man who'd been made for me, who had been handed to me on a silver platter. And so, I couldn't hold it in anymore, and finally I started balling. "I never wanted it to be this way, Edward. It's wrong to ask you to negotiate; you shouldn't have to convince me to marry you. I'm sorry for everything, I care about you, but I can't let you do this." I pulled my hands free and flung myself off the bed. I was surprised he let me, but then again, he was staring at me like I had gone insane.

"What nonsense are you talking about, Bella?" I lost it. I couldn't believe he hadn't noticed how much things had changed, how distant I'd become. And yet it was as if he couldn't understand plain English.

"Where the _hell_ have you been these last few months, Edward? Outer Space?! Things haven't been right between us since Alice died and I know you think you can fix it all by getting married. Well you can't, Edward, this cant be fixed by you. _You_ didn't destroy it, Jasper did. And he's the only one who can fix it. But he is never coming back!"

"What does Jasper have to do with this? Has he done something to you?! Bella, you have to tell me what he did!"

"Oh for the love of," I couldn't finish the phrase without screaming it at him, and I already knew that Rosalie and Emmett were most likely listening in the next room. So I escaped to the other side of the room, and grabbed my clothes, locking myself in the bathroom. Stripping down and starting the shower, I felt sure he didn't dare break the door down, and either way, his morals wouldn't have allowed him to see me naked. I knew I'd just walked out on an unfair fight that I was winning, but at the moment I was refusing to tell him anything that would hurt him. A few minutes after he was sure I wasn't coming out, I heard the door slam and the sound of Emmett's booming voice answering their door. I milked the shower as long as I could, until the water became uncomfortably cold and I was starting to prune. As soon as I was dressed, I stormed out of the bathroom to find Edward sitting on the re-made bed, his head in his hands.

"You don't want to marry me because you don't love me anymore." It wasn't a question. I weighed my options before answering. I chose to dance around the truth, knowing that sooner or later my lies and horrible deeds would come out. But I wasn't ready to face up to them, and if it made him happy to have me by his side, then I would marry him. He wouldn't have to know everything yet, and I would just explain the things that he needed to hear. I knelt at the feet of the bed, looking up at him.

"Edward, I do love you. I never stopped loving you. All that happened was that I found I could confide in Jasper, and he in me. At some point, it grew to be more than just friendship, but we knew it could never be. I asked him to leave so I couldn't do anything I would regret. I don't regret getting to know him, but I regret having allowed myself to think I could leave you for someone who I didn't really love, who never loved me."

"Why would you do that, after all we have been through," his head lifted from his hands, and he looked down at me with a hard, pained expression. "I would never ask you to stay with me if you found someone else, but I just don't understand what you thought you could tell him that you can't tell me. I am always here for you, Bella, I promised you that. I don't want to know everything you told him, everything you did."

"God, Edward, if you do, just tell me! Don't start with you're "I respect you" bullshit because it's ridiculous."

"I'm serious, Bella. I don't care. I want to know what I can do to fix us."

"I'm not sure how to answer that."

"Well, then lets begin with why you wont marry me." Of course he wanted to start with that. I rolled my eyes.

"You know the answer to that."

"I mean besides your aversion to it. Don't you want to be happy with me? I cant be happy like this forever."

"When you say forever you mean forever until I die, and that's not what forever means, Edward. I will not let you stay with me when I'm 40. I just won't do it. You'll lose me if you don't change me. And don't say I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't like the idea of being undead and killing living things. But it's worth it in my eyes if I can stay like this forever, as in eternity, with you. I don't care what you think you are, and I don't care if you think you're destroying my soul. If you didn't have a soul, I wouldn't have you the way you are." He looked like he wanted to hit something, and I pushed myself away a bit. "But, I'm not, and never have, asked for this to happen immediately. This is what I'm offering. If I marry you, you have to change me. That is all I ask. In the next year or so would be nice. I don't want to be any older than you than I already am. Maybe that's selfish, but to me it's reasonable."

"So you just don't want to grow old without me doing it as well? You don't care about anything else?"

I knew he was asking about intimacy, and I grimaced. I'd already handled that, and even though it still hurt me that Jasper had left me with that as a memory, I didn't regret having done it. It would be easier to work Edward through the process, especially when he thought he couldn't handle it. He wouldn't have to know I was no longer a virgin, and with the bruises he'd inflicted me with the last time we'd actually made out, he was bound to not notice that I wasn't bleeding like I should. "No Edward that can wait. I agree that we should wait until we're married. There's no reason to push it. But it doesn't have to be on our wedding night. We can wait until after I'm unbreakable if you're afraid you'll hurt me."

"Really? You would wait for that?"

"Well, as long as you don't make me wait too long." I smiled weakly, and stood up, making to it next to him, but he stopped me, pushing me away with a hand to my stomach.

"So you're saying yes, then," he asked, and pulling out the box again. I nodded, and he slipped the ring on my finger. It was a little heavy, and definitely not my style, but it was still beautiful. My stomach knotted. I was engaged. I was supposed to be happy, so where was the happiness? Oh, that's right, non-existent. I'd given in, and I'd ignored Alice's wishes. Certainly, everyone would be happy now, and everything would be fine. Still, I looked around the room, and remembered why we were here.

"So, what are we doing about Victoria?"

"Nothing, at this point," replied Emmett, who had suddenly appeared in the door. So that was why Edward had looked that way when he had slipped on the ring. "She isn't even here. Carlisle has searched all the surrounding area and as far as we can tell, she's been gone for weeks now. It seems she had a bad run-in with one of the vampire's hiding out here, and was driven out. Carlisle suggests we go camping for real now." He smiled. "Oh, and when's the wedding and I'm best man, right?"

"Yes, if you'd like," said Edward, smiling.

"Oh no, I have to tell Charlie!" With the conversation we'd had a few weeks ago, he wasn't going to like this at all. Renee would be excited, but she wouldn't want to come out here, and would suggest we fly somewhere "prettier and warmer."

"That can wait until we get home, Bella. We should tell him in person. How about we have him to the house for dinner, and announce it to the whole family? Everyone will act like they know nothing, and he wont feel left out. He won't be able to disapprove with Carlisle there. He'll assure Charlie we know what we're getting ourselves into."

"Right, that's a good idea. But I don't want to force everyone to eat human food when they don't really have to."

"Aw come on Bella, we'd do it for you! Well, Rose might complain, but she can just starve that night," Emmett smiled at me, encircling Edward and I in a great big hug. "We're all going to be official couples, now!" Rosalie came in the room at the sound of Emmett's laughter, a small smile playing on her pretty face.

"What's all this noise about? Someone was just arguing and now all I hear is your laughter, Em. Care to explain?"

"Erm, well, Bella and Edward are getting married."

"What," it wasn't an excited or happy question, more like one of an intention of death and disgust. Still, she smiled as though she was trying to act happy. "That's…well, that's nice then."

"Thank you," Edward said nicely enough, obviously having heard something in her mind that made his hand clench a little. I looked up at her, and smiled my thanks.

She grabbed Emmett's hand and they swept from the room. I looked awkwardly at my suitcase and then sat down on the bed again. Edward turned to look at me. "I think it's time we went home. We have no reason to remain here."

"Right." We packed up and checked out of the hotel. We spent the ride home in silence, as I had little to say, and Edward kept to himself. I wondered what the next few days would have in store for me, but I knew it included planning a wedding with Esme and Rosalie. I dreaded the idea of trying on wedding dresses, but thankfully there would be time to set aside for that.

**EPOV**

I just couldn't figure Bella out. When I proposed, she had looked like she'd been shot. I had expected her to hash it out with me, as she had done, but I hadn't expected her to be so unhappy about it. I knew it was hard for her, because she loved me, and I also knew she feared things wouldn't work out. What she didn't know was that I would fight to my death to keep us together, to keep our love alive. Sometimes I wondered if that was what she even wanted anymore. If she wanted _me_, but I forced the thought aside and thought about the music I'd put in. But my thoughts caught up with me until I couldn't push them away. It was unavoidable; I knew this, that she wouldn't be happy forever.

And the thing with Jasper, well I didn't know where that was coming from. I knew they'd become close, but I didn't like how she talked about him. As I drove back to Forks, I kept silent, as Bella didn't really have anything to say, and concentrated on planning a wedding. It would have to wait, I decided, since we were returning to school in a week, and it would be bad enough news that we were engaged. I knew Bella didn't want to tell Charlie, but I also knew exactly what everyone in school would think. It would be hard to explain that we were getting married because we love each other, not because Bella was pregnant. I chuckled a little to myself at that thought, because, as far as Carlisle could tell, that wasn't even possible. And if it was, it wouldn't matter because we would graduate and be headed off somewhere else before anyone would find out, that was, _if_ we ever had a child.

I knew that Rosalie had hated the idea of Bella and I getting married because she was confident that I was going to end her life. She had always wanted nothing more than a child, and in her opinion, I would be robbing Bella of the chance to have children. It was true that if she was changed, that she would never have the option, but I had never even thought to ask Bella how she felt about having children. She'd never seemed too interested, but then again, she was an only child and hadn't really been exposed to siblings much. As I let her into the house and carried our bags from the car, I studied her. Yes, something had changed about her, something about the way she carried herself was very wrong. And it wouldn't be very long before I would find myself dragging it out of her.

The next week was horrible for me, as Bella told me she wasn't able to spend time with me as she planned the wedding she had dreaded having said yes to. I watched her from afar as she and Esme swept through store after store, in search of the perfect wedding dress, until Rosalie suggested that they have one made in Paris, as Alice would have suggested. Bella had cried a little at that, and I assumed it was because she was basically lost without Alice's fashion knowledge.

Still she seemed to enjoy seeing me try on suit after suit, and finally she chose a basic black tuxedo with a white shirt for Emmett, Carlisle and I. I dared to peak at the dress she chose when it came in the mail, but I knew it was nothing next to the way it would look when she came down the isle in it.

As soon as school started up, I was content to see Bella in almost every one of my classes, though she seemed to be a bit uncaring about the idea. I drove her to and from school every day, but that was really the extent of our time together. I always found myself leaning in to kiss her more often then I ever would have in public, but since I wasn't allowed at her place at night anymore, it seemed, I had to feel her against me at any opportunity I could find. Luckily, the word hadn't traveled much, and so, on a particularly windy September Friday, I was heading over to Bella's to announce to her father that he was invited to a dinner party Saturday night. There, we were going to announce our marriage plans, and Rosalie was going to confess that she had already planned most of the wedding.

Charlie answered the door with his typical discontented look whenever he saw me. "Good afternoon," I greeted him politely.

"Bella's in the kitchen."

"Actually, I'm not here to see Bella. I'm here to invite you to dinner at my parent's tomorrow night. Bella will be there of course, but she asked me to invite you for her."

"Oh, well, then I will be there. What time?"

"Seven o'clock would be perfect."

"I will see you then, Edward," he glanced at me again, then at the kitchen. "You sure you don't want to see Bella?"

"No, I must be going. I will call her later of course. Good bye." He shrugged his shoulders and ushered me out the door. The next night was bound to be an experience he would never forget.

**JPOV**

As soon as I landed in Venice, I checked into a hotel and went hunting. It took a while to find a good place to hunt, considering all the little countryside towns were in the forests, but eventually, I found a nice spot, parked, and took off running into the woods. Before long, I tracked my prey and brought it down. Unsatisfied, I hunted some more, until I was overly indulging. After I cleaned myself up, I went out into the city that night, taking in the atmosphere and the history surrounding me. Oh, how Bella would love it here, I mused to myself. Bella. I sighed her name aloud. The one person I wanted to see right now, and yet, she was farther away from me now than I ever wanted her to be. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but I was confident I would find it.

The first week in Italy was the hardest for me. I had tried to call her so many times, but every time I heard her voice on the other side, I couldn't form words. My stomach would tighten uncontrollably, and I would end up throwing down the phone in irritation. There were so many things going through my mind constantly that I couldn't even enjoy taking a Sunday drive to the Venetian countryside. I remembered that Alice had come here with Bella to stop Edward from killing himself, and that I hadn't been there to comfort her when she'd left anxiously. I had been so relieved to see her get off the plane that I'd done something I hadn't done in a while, I just took her in with all my senses, staring at her, breathing in her perfumed scent, feeling her emotions washing over me.

She had still loved me, I realized, even as she had written out those notes so many months ago. Although her ideas had grown scrambled at the end and had led me to escape Forks, leaving my heart behind with Bella, something must have driven her to write them.

So I was off to the Volturi, I decided as I sat in my hotel room, looking out the window as the sun came up. I shut the windows quickly, noticing the people across the street were also outside on their deck, and they would be sure to notice my skin if the light hit it.

I packed quickly, cleaned up the vase I had broken in a fit of frustration I had experienced the night before when I had realized that I was continuously hitting dead ends in my mind, and that this would change only when I went to see the Volturi. Taking one last look at the picture of Bella I had stolen from Edward's room the night I had left, I took a deep breath and stole away in my rented sports car, very aware of the Italian women following me with their eyes as I swept through the lobby.

I stopped in a small town to get some gas, and was hit with the scent of another vampire. Although it didn't really surprise me, I wasn't intending to run into anyone while here. I wanted to keep a very low profile, and if I was correct, it would be hard to do this.

Sure enough, as I went in to the small market store, I could easily pick out the pale skin of a tall female. Her eyes met mind, and she cocked an eyebrow. I tried to avert her eyes, but couldn't risk escaping the store as quickly as I wished to. So, she cornered me at the back of the store, her brown eyes just slightly tinged red and her dark brown hair swinging behind her. I grimaced. She must have recently converted to a human-supplemented diet. Her hair reminded me of Bella's and for a moment, I smiled slightly. She smiled too. "Oh, I knew I'd meet you someday. Maria told me all about you, Jasper, her most prized child." My eyes narrowed. She knew Maria, and this wasn't good news for me. I'd spent so long hiding from her prying eyes, and the last thing I needed was for her to find out about Bella.

"And you are?" I let my words fall silkily, hiding any amount of hostility I might be radiating. She annoyed me, as I could feel her

"I am Corinna."

"How do you know Maria?"

"She changed me, of course. Just as she changed you," she smiled again, and extended a cold hand. I took it lightly and then pulled mine away. "So, what brings you to Italy, Jasper? Surely not a vacation."

"No, it's business." She eyed me curiously, and beckoned with her hand.

"We'll see about that."

I had no choice but to follow her.

**Attn:** Will Bella follow through with the wedding? Will Jasper find out about it and get home in time to stop it? Will we ever find out what happened to Alice? Review to find out!!!


	9. Thinking

**Author's Note:** Still not making any money from this. Another chapter! The plot thickens. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed!

**BPOV**

The days moved slowly without Jasper, the nights even slower, even though dreaming is supposed to speed up time. It didnt seem to sit true for me, as every day I awoke to Edward kissing my lips and telling me it was time for school, and every night, I found myself struggling to fall asleep in his embrace. Day after day, I endured Edward's presence in school, always thinking about the fact that I was soon to marry him, even though it was the one thing I felt so horrible about doing. I still loved Edward enough to know that in the end, I would hurt him, either by dying with the secret that I'd always been in love with his brother, or by deciding one day, maybe hundreds of years from now, that I just couldnt do it anymore. I hoped I would either forget Jasper existed during the change, since he wouldnt be there for it, or that the change would never happen. I didnt even deserve to be given the chance or curse of eternity, young and beautiful, but as college was my only other choice looming on the horizon, I simply smiled at Edward when he told me he'd made all the arrangements and that Charlie and I were to be over at the Cullen's around seven.

For once, I was a little happy to ride in the cruiser with Charlie, since it slowed down traffic in town considerably, which gave me time to think before we got on the road to the Cullen's house. Once we arrived, I smiled a little at Charlie's apprehensive expression when Edward appeared in the doorway, and then walked to out to the driveway to escort us inside. If only Charlie knew he was entering a house full of vampires, his expression would have held merit. Instead, he tried to smile at Edward, and once we made it through the doorway, his smile turned into a grin when Esme opened her arms and house to him. "Hello, Chief Swan," she all but purrred, "welcome to our home."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen," Charlie stuttered when he embraced her back.

"Do call me Esme, please, I prefer it, no need for formalities here," Esme replied, smiling when Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie entered the room. Carlisle of course, already knew Charlie, and the two simply nodded at each other, but when Charlie actually saw Emmett so up close, his eyes widened at his bear-like form. Emmett tugged Rosalie foreward with him.

"Hello, Chief Swan," he said, smiling his genuinely sweet teddy-bear smile. Rosalie tried to beam, but it was clear she wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment. "I'm Emmmett, and this is Rosalie."

"Oh yes, I remember, Bella did remind me. I met you more formally at the...funeral," Charlie attempted to remove emphasis from the sentence's end, but there was hardly a change in anyone's face, except for Rosalie's jaw hardening a fraction. Carlisle smiled kindly.

"Let us all go sit down to dinner then, shall we," Edward interjected. I could tell he was anxious to announce to "everyone" that we were engaged.

We all sat down at the table in the usual arrangement. Carlisle and Charlie sat at the ends, Esme and Rosalie on Carlisle's sides, Emmett and I across from Edward. Small talk ensued, especially between Emmett and Charlie, who started discussing sports. I thanked Esme for the dinner, and complimented her on every dish, which wasnt hard, considering the fact that they were all absolutely delisicious. Finally, Edward put down his fork, a small grimace on his face, which he quickly hid, and cleared his throat in the extremely quiet voice that only a vampire can do.

I held my breath. "Bella and I have an announcement," he said, smiling at me. Everyone suddenly looked alertly at me. I blushed. I couldnt help it, and the corners of Edward's mouth pulled up. He smiled at everyone. Esme and Carlisle smiled happily, and Emmett's face lit up. Rosalie, of course, clenched her jaw a bit, and then beamed. Charlie's face seemed to blanche a bit. He turned a little green, and his eyes travelled to my stomach. I groaned. "We are engaged to be married." Charlie's reaction was priceless. He bit his lip and looked a little angry. Esme and Carlisle, however, beamed.

"Oh, that is absolutely wonderful," Esme exclaimed, and she squeezed my hand. I smiled. "Congratulations, Edward, Bella. I always hoped this would happen!"

"Congratualations," said Carlisle, carefully, in his usual way. Charlie looked concerned.

"Dad?" I had to know what he was wanting to say.

"Is this what you want, Bella?"

My head was screaming no, but my mouth couldnt form the words. "Yes, I do dad. I love Edward. I want to marry him."

"I thought you were rethinking your future, but I didnt know it included getting married so young. You're only 18, Bella. You have a future you need to consider."

"I am considering it. Being married isnt going to change anything. In a year, I will graduate. And then I will go to college and have a career."

"I think Bella and Edward are mature enough to get married, Charlie. They're both aware of what they are getting themselves into, and they're also in love. I see it everyday," Carlisle interjected. He was one person that could be counted on to support this indefinitately. Not to mention the fact that Charlie respected his judgement enough to agree.

"I think Bella and Edward are right for each other," Emmett added. "I mean, they've been through a lot for each other, more than most old married couples. They're good students and very responsible." I couldnt believe that Emmett was sticking up for us, but then again, he was the only one who'd ever supported our relationship from the start, besides Alice anyway, and even I knew that it was probably because underneath the brawn, he was really an insufferable romantic. Secretly, it was probably one of the reasons Rosalie was with him; he could love her uncondidtionaly, no matter how mean she could be. I looked at her, and was apalled to see she was nodding along, as though she also believed this true. Of course, it wasnt a lie, but I had sort of been counting on her to destroy the happy moment. Apparently, I couldnt count on her for anything.

Charlie knew he'd been defeated in every argument, so he took a breath, and then he smirked at me. "Hmm, well, Bella, I guess I support you. But you have to tell Renee."

I didnt see that coming. Renee was bound to explode in happiness the second I told her, and I dreaded that phone call more than I feared the Volturi. At least they werent my parents. I nodded blandly. "Thanks, Dad."

"So...when is this wedding going to be anyway?"

"Well, Sir, we havent really decided, but I think we were planning on this winter. We can still finish the school year, and we werent planning on having a honeymoon, since Bella doesnt want to waste money on that." Esme looked a little disappointed by that, so I interupted.

"I want to save the money for college, and that's more important. We dont need a honeymoon anyway."

"Well that's very practical of you," Carlisle amended, though he, of course, knew that college wouldnt matter much, and wouldnt be an option by the time we graduated.

"Bella's always had a good head on her shoulders, it's true," Charlie agreed. "Hmm, its getting late, and tomorrow's a school day. We should get going, Bells." I nodded at Charlie. "Thank you so much for the wonderful dinner, Esme. It was deliscious." We all got up and followed Carlisle to the foyer, Edward loyally at my side with my coat. I took it from him, and hugged him close, for once needing the comfort of his marble body. He hugged me back, a small, distant smile forming slightly. He must have been thinking about something else, or listening in on someone's thoughts.

"Oh, you are very welcome, Charlie. Do have a wonderful night." She hugged us both and we left.

I would have a lot to think about, as we drove home, and I looked down at the ring on my finger, for the first time in a few days. What was I getting myself into? I knew what might happen if this all went to hell, but somehow I couldnt force myself to see reason. I shouldnt even be doing this, I should have never helped Jasper. Though I could never have known that I would end up here, I wished I'd had some forethought. In truth, I realized with a bit of anger, that this was all Alice's fault. But why? Why would she do this? What on earth could she gain? Why would she want us all to get so tangled up? Maybe the answer was that she didnt want this to happen. She must have missed something crucial, or her visions had been wrong. The sad thing was, we would probably never know.

**Attn:** Well, another chapter is done. I'm not too happy with Bella myself, but for some reason, I think her issues are going to help this story work out. Any ideas on what should happen next?


	10. Confusion

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry that its been forever since I've been on. Like three months? Got busy with school, and it took me about a month to finish this. I hope this makes you all happy, I fixed it so that Bella and Jasper make good decisions. I just own this idea, not the characters.

**JPOV**

I had no choice but to follow her.

I was careful to manipulate her emotions so that they were extremely calm, in case she was to give me bad news or were to attack me. I didn't know what odds were against me, but as we traveled through the shop and through a door, I could tell we were going underground. It didn't surprise me that the Volturi would be aware of my presence in Italy, but I was wary of how they might react to my intentions. I wasn't just here to find out what happened to my dead wife, but I was in fact, running from a terrible situation with Bella. Bella. How on earth was I going to come back to her? If I wasn't gone long enough, she wouldn't be able to appreciate why I left. But if I was gone too long, she would move on and marry Edward. No, the odds were definitely not in my favor.

The only question was the Volturi's reasons to want me to come all the way to Volterra. It made no sense for me to follow her, and more than anything, I felt the need to run, to preserve myself, to make it back to Bella. Still, I ignored my instincts and followed Corrinna through the winding tunnel and saw light ahead. We must have been going straight to Marcus and the others. I had not expected that, since they had sent her to fetch me, I could not see them finding value in bothering with me myself. Unless...unless Alice was here. But I felt no hope in that idea, realizing that if she were here, she would have turned on the Cullens, and, of all people, myself.

Suddenly, Corrinna stopped walking, and turned to me quickly. A cruel smile framed her beautiful features, and I shuddered involuntarily. "Go on in," she said smoothly, opening the heavy brass door for me. I hesitated, weighing my options. I could have turned and run, easily have outrun her, but I couldn't guarantee making my way out of the twisting tunnels. I couldn't even remember exactly how many turns we'd taken, nor could I could recall how long we'd actually been underground. All I was vaguely aware of, based on the fresher scent of the air, was that we were no longer underground, and had been gently sloping upward for awhile. Now that I could tell that the light beyond the doorway was sunlight, I felt sure I had no escape as two massive vampires moved into position right past the door. So, I sighed, smiled to Corrinna, humoring her, and stepped through the dreaded door

"Come with us, Mr. Hale," said the larger of the unfamiliar vampires. I did not question the formal address, knowing the Volturi certainly were aware of who I was. Instead, as I got into an elevator with them, I observed everything I could about the Volturi members, and my surroundings. I had only ever heard a few details from Bella's trip to Volterra from Alice, as I had not been allowed to go with them, no matter how much I'd begged and demanded. Of course, I knew there was a good reason for her to have forbidden my accompaniment, as I was aware that I could possibly be called responsible for my involvement in the Southern Vampire Wars, and the sad part was that I could not defend my actions in a way they would understand or accept, as I was sure they would not care that I had been created for a reason, and was not aware of any other way of life until the day I met Alice.

I followed them onto the elevator, and found myself cracking a smile at the random music playing quietly. Neither of the Volturi members made any inclination of knowledge of the ironic humor presented to me. Here I was, probably going to my well-deserved death, and yet they played upbeat Italian ditties in their elevator. How quaint. I realized that something about this trip was off, and it occurred to me that it lacked my interest. I should have been interested in everything around me, not letting my guard down, taking in every ounce of information I could find and using it to my advantage. I'd always held myself trained to do this, and yet I was too calm and reserved to my demise that I couldn't concentrate on anything but Bella. I loved her, it was almost painful for me to acknowledge it; but I'd done the stupidest thing imaginable. Leaving her was one of my most regretful decisions, and it was wrong of me to leave her the way I had. She was out there, waiting for me, and now there was no chance for me to really say goodbye, and there was no way for her to know where I was, nor would she ever dream that I couldn't come back to her, and hadn't simply chosen to leave her with Edward. Edward. How I hated him. Bella was only human, and her mind was a sieve. She would never have to tell him, and would eventually forget me, and would marry him if I never came back. He'd never have a clue of what had happened between us, I was confident she'd never want to hurt him, and would never have the nerve to tell him. He would be a selfish idiot and would refuse to change her, and then, either Bella, _my Bella,_ would die, or better yet, she would leave him and live a full human life.

But I knew I could never count on this. Bella was stubborn, very stubborn for a human, and with her being accident prone, would manage to get herself killed, without someone to watch over her. She could be counted on to struggle to hold on to me as long as her mind can remember me. No one would be able to make her forget, and while I secretly loved this, the sick idea that I was ingrained in her heart, I felt such sorrow over having ruined her life. I hated the idea of her marrying Edward, but I'd really left her no choice. And now I would pay for my wrongdoings with sweet, sweet death.

**BPOV**

_I don't want to marry you, Edward, I don't want to marry you, Edward. _I practiced the speech in the quiet, safe confines of my mind for what must have been the tenth time. The words would never come out right, but I was determined to end this insanity once and for all. Charlie would be ecstatic, and the Cullens would be devastated. If I wasn't so set on this, I would have considered the fact that this might result in Edward's death. I still couldn't imagine him not existing, but I didn't love him anymore and it was unbelievably wrong for me to marry him just to make him happy. He wouldn't be happy forever. Jasper was coming back, eventually, I promised myself; and even if he didn't, I couldn't stay here like this. I felt as if my conscience had finally made an appearance in my life, realized how selfish I'd been. But I knew I could make everything right, even if it just meant me leaving the Cullens alone forever. I had no choice in the matter anymore.

So, I braced myself once again, and headed to Edward's. Halfway out the front door, I paused, and turned myself right around. I was no where near as prepared as I'd thought I was. I halfway considered bringing note cards, as though I was giving a speech, and scoffed at myself in the hall mirror. I was so weak, so...so...so _human_. I was only human, I trusted in that Edward would forgive me for that. The problem was, that since he would continue to delude himself into believing that it had been the sweet touch and smell of a vampire that had entrapped me, he would end up doubting my love for him, and consequently, my love for Jasper. Yet, he would be dead wrong. I once loved Edward, but my love for him had been far more shallow and flimsy compared to my ever-growing devotion to Jasper. I thought about Jacob, for maybe the first time in months, and it occurred to me that he and Edward were more equal than I'd ever thought before, the reason being that I didn't love either of them half as much as I'd once thought I did. It had all been a superficial teenager's infatuation, and I'd been too full of my self-righteous, old-soul to realize it.

I walked slowly around the house, until I finally found myself lounging on the living room couch, languidly delving into my own brain's delusions and stupidity. I thought about Jasper, about where in the hell he was when I needed him most to get through this, as a kind of living, well, not _living_ perhaps, but solid, proof of what I had to confess. I thought about poor, pathetic Edward, who I'd led on unintentionally for these last three years, and how I'd nearly died when he'd left me. That was the old me, the new me could live comfortably without the love of her life, as long as he was still out there, as long as he was really coming back. I thought about Alice. Why had she done all of this? What motives did she have? It seemed just too weird for her to simply disappear and leave only Jasper and I notes...unless the others had gotten them too. Edward. What had she said to Edward? Did she tell him, was he too stubborn to believe it? Was the fact that Jasper was gone proof enough for Edward that Alice had been wrong?

I had to see Carlisle before I confronted Edward, I couldn't do this without knowing if he had a clue of what had happened. Ignoring the phone when it went off, I leapt off the couch and grabbed the keys to the car Edward had forced me to consent to months ago. Now that I'd driven it so often, it was no longer scary, no longer too fast for me, though I still preferred my old truck, which now sat in the Cullens' garage. I headed as fast as was legal to the Cullen's, only to see Carlisle's car leaving the drive as I headed inside. He simply waved at me through the dark windows and I helplessly waved back. I could leave, go home, I reasoned, but of course Edward would have already been alerted to my sudden visit.

Sure enough, he opened the front door smiling slightly to himself. "Bella! You didn't tell me you wanted to come over today. I'm glad you came though, of course, always."

"Edward," I barely managed, "we need to talk about some things..."

"Oh, yes, the wedding plans. Well, Esme has already taken into consideration that you don't want a big event, more traditional and close to home. So,we thought it best to simply have it here, and invite only the most necessary people. Do you like that idea?"

"Yes that's very nice and all Edward, but that's not what I want to talk about. Can we do somewhere a little more," I caught a glimpse of Emmett's hulking form dashing to Rosalie's side at the dining room table and sighed,"private?"

"Where did you have in mind?"

I hesitated, grateful he couldn't hear what I was thinking. I tried to smile broadly for him, and whispered so only he could hear, "our meadow."

He grinned instantly and nodded. "Of course, of course. Climb on, spider monkey." I grimaced at the back of his head when he turned around, and leapt onto his back. As soon as we got there, I jumped off and turned away, sucking in a breath. He came close, brushing a few stray strands out of my face, and I forced myself to look at him. I bit my lip, and his eyes turned questioning.

"Edward...."

"Yes, Bella?"

"I...Jasper...I...you..."

He looked confused. "Bella, please, please do tell me."

"I don't want to marry you, Edward. I'm serious. I...I don't love you, not anymore. And I'm really sorry that I've let this go for so long but you have to listen to me. I love Jasper, I have for months. He didn't leave because of Alice, no, he left because of me. He left so that I could make a clean break with you and when he has everything all set, he'd coming back to get me. I'm so sorry, Edward, really, but it really is over. I tried to tell you before, but I couldn't find the courage to talk over you. Now, now I can." I was indeed talking over him, not over his voice,no, over the growling building in his throat. He was full out snarling at me when my voice faltered out, and was in a crouch, as if he were going to attack me. He inched closer, his eyes blazing black and his lips curled back in a monstrous expression. He was terrifying, so much so that I was finally afraid of him, and was backing up quickly away from him. I would stumble any minute now, and I didn't know what he might do then. Then, he paused, and spoke.

"What." Not a question or an accusation, but his voice ripped painfully through the air. In that moment he lurched forward in anger and I knew it was over for me.

**Attn:** A rather good cliffhanger, I think. Hope you liked it. If I get lots of good reviews, I'll tell what happens next!


	11. Confrontations

**Author's Note: **I still don't own anything but the idea for this story

**BPOV**

I fell back away from Edward in vain, I knew it was pointless to try to escape him. Still, I pushed myself from the tree and started running away. I got barely ten feet before I felt his iron hands grasp me and yank me into the air. I struggled in his arms, and he turned my body so I could see his painful expression. It was a mixture of rage and hurt...his expression so painful to look at that I shut my eyes. I knew he was using his abilities to plead with me, and that if I started to allow my concentration to slip and I peered too long into his black eyes, I was a goner. Yet there was hardly any point in struggling. But why wasn't I dead yet? I had bruises and scrapes forming along my body already, but he had not yet bitten me.

I wished he'd get it over with, a simple, quick death was all I wanted. I was more terrified of what would happen when he came to his senses and realized what he'd done. Knowing Edward, he'd go insane with grief...worse than he was now...and run. Just run. There would be no catching him once he took off.

"Bella...Bella...Bells," he choked out through the growling ripping through his throat and I jumped in his arms at the sound. He held me straight up, his hands slowly crushing into my ribcage, slowly squeezing the air out of me. "Bella...why? Why? WHY?"

He was yelling now, but his words made no sense, spoken too quickly, mushed together, all eloquence lost.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm sorry!" I sobbed, tears streaming from my eyes as he squeezed tighter. I wished he'd stop crushing me and just snap my neck. It would be a lot easier.

"I'm sorry, too, Bella. I'm sorry you couldn't love me like you said you could. I'm sorry you lied." His voice had suddenly grown too calm, too terrifyingly clear. It was over. "I do not want to have to kill you, Bella,but I cannot leave you for Jasper. He does not deserve you, he has left you. There is nothing left in your life if you do not take me back."

"No!"

He chuckled. The damned vampire chuckled at me, his eyes cruelly framed with mirth. I wished our situation was reversed._ I_ wanted to kill _him_. If only because I was sick of the torture. I'd never been in so much pain in my life, compared to the vampire's bite, this was nearly as bad. Hearing the bones of my body slowly snap was driving me crazy. Trust Edward to choose a very painful way to off me, trust him to never give up, choosing the only way from which I could be healed by the venom of a vampire. If I agreed, I knew he'd bite me and then call Carlisle. From there, there would be no escape. I would be doomed to a life with the Cullens, a life I had no longer chosen to live.

"This is your last chance."

"I hate you, Edward," my voice came out feebly as I gasped for breath. How did he expect me to even think now that my air was almost gone and I was dying in his grasp?

"Bella, please. I do not wish to do this. I do not wish for you to die."

"I...said...no..ward..." I reluctantly looked into his eyes, pleading. He flinched, his eyes narrowed, and he set his teeth.

It went dark.

**JPOV**

We reached the tenth floor of the building, and the elevator music ceased, signaling our arrival to what was going to be my last destination. I took a very unnecessary deep breath and allowed myself to be corralled from the elevator. The taller of the vampires strolled languidly towards the receptionist, who was clearly human; in the right corner, and announced my presence. She smiled cruelly, seemed to appraise my appearance and nodded quickly, beginning to babel in Italian. She called someone on the phone, took a note, and then stood up. Everyone in the reception room turned their heads to the left, including several humans sitting uncomfortably in their chairs, holding clipboards; as the large, heavy filigree doors opened. I felt inclined to follow suit.

As soon as my eyes met those of the vampire in the doorway, I stepped back in disbelief. "Alice..." I muttered as quietly as I could, trying to hide my acknowledgment of my former wife's entrance. She smiled, quirking her tiny spiky head to the side, a broad smile forming on her face. To the untrained eye, my wife looked as though she were happy to see me, but to me, it was clear she was livid. Not only did I catch the ever so slight narrowed blood-red eyes she bore, which were just not Alice-like, but I could sense her utter outrage.

"Jasper..."

I nodded my head stupidly, remaining wary as she approached me. I strained myself to remain calm, if only to not to terrify the already uneasy humans at present, and in order to not give away my reaction.

"That will be all, you two," she said, waving away the two flanking me, and they left slowly through the very elevator we had just come in. Her eyes followed them out, and then centered back on me. My lip curled, instinctively detecting a threat in her presence. "What don't you come with me?"

"Alright," I drawled, attempting to use charm to my advantage. Her smile faltered for a moment, then reappeared swiftly. She chuckled coldly, raising her eyebrows, gesturing me forward. I simply fought to maintain the calm of the room and followed her through the doors. Past the doors was a great conference room, where ten vampires sat, conversing quietly amongst themselves at the long center table. None of them seemed to register my entrance, and no one seemed to be interested as Alice swept by them and through a second set of golf framed doors, the second far grander than the first. I hesitated to follow, but nonetheless continued behind her flitting movements.

As soon as I set foot past the second set of doors, I felt the temperature decrease noticeably, as though we were in a highly air-conditioned office. Instead, the walls were far from modern, patterned stone and colored glass. Skylights let in vast amounts of sunlight, rendering a superficial happy brightness to the vast room. I lost Alice from view, as she flitted away momentarily, then returned to perch on a large circular table in the very center of the room, under the largest open skylight. Diamonds appeared all over the exposed parts of her skin, as the sunlight blasted down from above. It must be closer to two in the afternoon, based on the direction the my well-adjusted eyes followed. Alice clicked her tongue. "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper..." She smiled at me, as I remained in the darker part of the room out of habit. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I came to get answers."

"Yes, of course." She slid from her seat, and was in front of me in an instant. "To what questions...hmmm?" She reached out, and I shrank back, uneasy with her proximity. Nevertheless, she leaned ever closer and ran her hand from my chin down my arm to my left wrist. "So tense, pet, I wonder....are you thirsty? Ohhh...you must be, it has been days, I can see it under your eyes."

"I am not here to dine, Alice. I want you to tell me exactly what in hell is wrong with you."

She chuckled again, small bells tinkling cruelly in my ears.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I simply did what I had to do, what had to happen. Tell me..." She backed up quickly and twirled away. I narrowed my eyes in frustration. Then, a tall crimson-eyed vampire emerged from the shadows as Alice twirled, and she danced right into his arms. He smiled down at her gently...I choked in my throat...lovingly, and she preened. "Demetri, you are early darling."

Demetri laughed. "Oh, yes, I seem to be. Pray this wont take too long, kitten?"

"No, it shouldn't be too long, that is, if he cooperates," she nodded in my direction, and twirled him from the room. "Now. Where were we? Oh. Yes. Tell me, Jasper, are you not happy with Bella?"

"Bella? I...I am not with Bella, Alice. I left her with Edward. In order to come here and figure this note business out."

"Oh, pity. I would have liked to see Bella, I do miss her so."

"The notes, Alice."

"Yes, yes, the notes, I know. The short of it is that I met Demetri last fall. I loved him instantly. I foresaw your future, and I saw Bella. So, I sent you all nice little explanations. Easy enough."

"That may have been a good reason, Alice, except for the fact that the notes do not all add up. You egg Bella and I on, then demand everyone else kill me to save Bella and Edward's love. Makes no real sense, Alice, and you know it."

"I thought it would make life more interesting for you all. Besides, if Edward hadn't been given enough reason to hold on tighter to Bella, she would never have been driven into your arms, where she belongs. And if I had not seemed to have died, you would not have had enough grief to reach for her. No one would have embraced their destinies. I gave you many gifts, Jasper. Though you are screwing this up coming to Volterra."

I grimaced. "You are far more a twisted woman than I would have ever dreamed, Alice."

"You have no idea," she smiled widely, mockingly. "Though I am quite merciful."

"How do you see that?"

"Oh, well, as you are not dead yet, as you should be, I would be grateful." She lunged, rather playfully.

"I am not quite grateful then, Alice." I sidestepped her approach, and headed towards the doors. "And although I do not have satisfactory answers, I shall bid you farewell."

"Not quite," came a voice behind me. I was being boxed in, slowly, as several more Volturi members circled into the room. I sidestepped again,to avoid the outstretched hands behind me, and sank into a crouch. I was not going down without a fight, even if I was doomed the moment I set foot in the city.

"I regret to tell you, dear pet, but I cannot let you leave just yet. You see," she began to slip away from the room, "we need you to test our newest recruits,as you have much experience in newborn wrangling..."she frowned concernedly at the three youngsters surrounding me, "and we cannot simply pass up the opportunity to possibly do away with you easily. In the chance that you survive, that I would not depend on, you may leave. Good day." With that, she was gone.

The newborns immediately turned to me, crouched back, teeth bared. I was careful to keep them on their toes, circling the trio quickly, without compromising my energy. The fight was uneven, but easy for me. Alice was right, I did have the experience. We formed a sort of dance, as they came at me, I twisted to the side, depending on their direction, and I backed them in towards the corners, jumping at them. I never let them get too close to me, but as I whirled around them, I paused just long enough to scratch, punch, or bite them, attempting to remove pieces of them as fast possible. They had no strategy, and even though they were young, they were easily a few months old, and so their superior strength and agility was waning. I managed to force them to grow reckless with boredom, then advanced mercilessly.

Within the hour, I'd torn them apart, sustaining small harms to myself in the process. Nevertheless, I had won. I scattered them randomly throughout the room, discouraging their rebirth, and waited, until I was sure no one was coming for me for awhile. I then turned and fled the room, attempting nonchalance as I entered the great room. To my relief, there were many vampires and humans there, allowing me to blend in and go to the elevator in a crowd. No one seemed to spot me, as the humans chatted nervously amongst themselves, and the vampires seemed lost in their own agenda.

I kept alert as I left the elevator and the group dispersed. The ground floor was mostly empty, except for the receptionist and a few humans waiting for their appointments. Heading for the doors, Demetri came out of an office and cursed lowly. He immediately called for back up, and I moved carefully at a human speed to the doors, smirking at his angry expression. He could not come after me without risking exposing himself and his guards.

Outside the building, I was running in an instant. I was grateful for the cover of dusky night, they could not kill me unless they caught me, knowing that they would never catch me, nor would I give them a more proper reason for execution. No mortal would come in contact with me this late into the evening. Certainly, I was confident everyone was inside as I dashed through the winding streets. If I reached the shore, I was safe, for now. The city of Volterra lay out in front of me, a labyrinth of deception, the airport in the distance a beacon of hope.

**Attn:** Well there it is... reviews please my lovely readers! :)


	12. Fighting

**Author's Note: **Characters are not mine, the idea is. Second to last chapter I believe!

**JPOV**

Bella was in grave danger and hurting. I felt it down to the marrow of my unbreakable bones, in the very fiber of my being. I could not understand the how or the cause, but I could feel it as though she were tearing apart in my arms. I loved her deeply, and nothing was going to separate us now, but I could hardly consider having formed such a strong connection and affinity in the short time we had come together, it seemed not altogether impossible, but no one in my situation would hesitate to doubt its existence. It was improbable at best, yet nothing deterred me from my single minded thoughts as I ran the length of the airstrip at a careful human pace and went to board my plane back to the states.

What was pulling at my heartstrings and scorching my lungs this way? What had me terrified of coming home to Forks? I was answer-less and worried, and could hardly concentrate on anything else, even as I almost missed the plane, and rushed on at the last minute, scaring a young stewardess in the process.

Maybe I was going crazy, slowly, from the lack of blood in my system, and the stresses on my body over the past three days I'd spent in Italy. I only hoped I would return to Bella very much alive and healthy**, **and hopefully, not married to Edward.

I sat uncomfortably in my seat, though perfectly comfortable physical, my inner turmoil would not allow me to relax. I was acutely aware of a hidden happiness that at least I did not need sleep, as I knew that if I were so accursed, I would have suffered even more greatly. My thoughts were hurried and jumbled, and even graced with the ability to ponder several things at once, the situation at had punctuated and filled my head as though it would spill over the brim. I could not fathom how I would explain Alice's change of heart to the family...what was left of it anyway...and especially to Bella, who would be hurt the most. She had always trusted and loved Alice, and it was simply heartbreaking to know that she'd betrayed us all the moment she'd seen fit. And there was the problem of Demetri, I felt sure he would not cease his pursuit, even though I'd long left Italy, and as he was gifted greatly, he would undoubtedly search for us all. Not to mention Alice would try to render him unstoppable. However, we were smart to her abilities, and I was confident that we could evade her eyes as much as we dared. I simply had to keep Bella safe as soon as I arrived.

But how would Edward react to my story? Though I hoped Bella had told him the truth, something told me that even her repeated efforts would never get through his thick skull, and as he could not read her thoughts, he would never know just how true her woulds could be until I returned. I did not fear my brother, all the same I did not enjoy the prospect of a brutal fight over Bella. Though younger and faster, he could not override my talents and experience. It was a fight I'd surely win, though it would be dirty and murderous. I would simply end up having to provoke him with my own thoughts, and after a while, he would pounce me. Well, I would be ready when he did.

**BPOV**

I couldn't see anything. I could hear nothing but the roaring in my ears, a piercing, deafening sound I could not place within the rational confines of my mind. Oh, but could I _feel_. My body was on fire, and though I was screaming it with what I thought was all the strength my voice could muster, it seemed no one could hear me. No one was there for me, and I could not understand what the hell was going on. One minute I had been with Edward, trying to escape his iron grasp. The next I was no where, but it was quiet and peaceful, as though I were floating through white, clean light. Now, now I was absolutely positive I was dying. Where was Edward? Where were the rest of the Cullens? More importantly, where was Jasper?

It seemed he was never coming back to me. He had been too late, and now I was dying or dead, and he would find me like this. Would he even care? Had he ever cared at all? Or had he let his love be a figment of my imagination, the cause of this pain? I stupidly continued to believe in and trust him, and now I had no one and I regretted having ever let him pull me away. Not even Jacob had held such control over my mind, and if he knew what was happening right now, oh... there would be hell to pay. That is, if he still cared. I strongly doubted he did. I'd spent so long avoiding seeing him, and now I regretted that distance too.

I couldn't hear anything. Why couldn't I hear anything? I never thought that death would be such a lonely thing, I'd always been sure that someone or something would help me along. Then again, I hadn't expected it to be this painful.

Then, it dawned on me. I was changing. I was not going to be human when I woke up. But why was I changing? I was pretty sure my neck was broken. I was pretty sure most of my body had broken under Edward's crushing hands. Had I been remembered after all? Had Carlisle taken pity on me, and saved me? Had Edward? Was he aware of what he did? Did he care?

The questions swirled in my mind, until they were a blur of disjointed thought. I tried to scream for help again, wondering if I would be heard, if anyone would come, if it would even matter. I longed to be rid of this. But I knew I had three days...three horrible day ahead. And I was not sure how anything would turn out when they were finally over.

Suddenly, I heard voices, loud ones surrounding me. They came ethereally, muted and flowery. I struggled to focus on them. It sounded like Jasper. But that was impossible, wasn't it? I mentally smiled. I was going insane, I decided, due to the pain. There was no way this could be real; that Jasper could have come back to me.

Then came repeated crashes, low snarls, and a few angry screams. I heard the shatter of glass and a horrible screech, much like metal ripping metal, then I heard no more as the darkness encompassed my mind.

**JPOV**

As soon as the plane touched down in Seattle, I hurriedly grabbed my things, and fled the crowded terminal. I payed the dues for my car, retrieved it from the parking garage, and headed as fast as I could to Forks. I took the back roads to avoid traffic, and wound my way at a hundred miles an hour, anxious to get to Bella. My unease was growing unnervingly fast the closer I got to her, and I wasn't taking any chances. I stopped at her house, but neither her truck nor Charlie's cruiser was there, so I headed to the big house in the forest.

Winding down the driveway, I felt tension in the air, the emotional tumult focused upstairs in Edward's bedroom. With a sinking feeling, I noticed Bella's truck parked to the side; knowing that things would not go well with her here. At the sound of my engine dying, Rosalie appeared at the door, then swept away, probably to alert Carlisle. I ran into the house, at a normal speed for vampires, and suddenly the atmosphere of the whole house changed. Anxiety and anger was rolling off of Rosalie in powerful waves, while Emmett smiled and waved, then looked ashamedly at the floor, his own feelings not quite matching his greeting. I wondered to myself what was wrong before it hit me painfully.

I could smell Bella everywhere. Not just her scent, but her blood. Everywhere. The house was filled with it, and no one, it seemed, had taken care to open a window or get out the bleach. I snarled. "Where is she?"

Rosalie stepped behind Emmett swiftly, then nodded towards the stairs. Carlisle appeared there, a grave expression on his face. "Jasper, you're home." His tone was wholly unwelcoming, although it was obvious he was trying to be nice, his emotions that of worry, fear, and unease. Clearly, something was going on, and no one was volunteering to tell me.

"What is going on?"

"You must stay calm, son," he spoke softly, calmly, as he descended the steps to face me. "It will be alright." To the left, Rosalie gave a low hiss, and I could only glare.

"Where is she," I repeated, this time lacking any friendliness or curiosity in my tone. I could not help but growl at the end, as I moved slowly around Carlisle. "What happened?"

"Edward..." I did not wait for his explanation to finish, and bolted up the stairs and into Edward's room. The smell of blood was suddenly less concentrated, as Edward had opened the large bay window, as he sat by it, a stony look fixed upon his face. It looked as though he had not moved for quite some time. It took all my strength to drag my eyes to the bed that sat in the corner, where Bella lay, eyes closed, breathing stopped. Soft music echoed from the stereo, but I could pick out her tiny, frail heartbeat.

I went to touch her, but Edward stopped me. "Don't, don't touch her." I wheeled around to stare at him. "What are you doing here? You left. You have no business being here. You should leave, now."

"I have plenty of business being here. You, however, caused this. I should make you leave myself." I leaned threateningly towards Edward, flexing my muscles and baring my teeth. I pressed out my emotions and tried to strike fear in his un-beating heart. I refused to let him hear my thoughts just yet, I didn't want him to get angry yet; and I hoped he would leave on his own. Clearly, I was reacting under false hope. There was probably no reason to believe he might ever listen to me.

His stance was that of defense. It looked like he thought he was protecting Bella. I laughed coldly. He was clearly doing the opposite, as he was the threat.

"Get out of the way, Edward."

"No," he snarled. Well, I had no choice. I opened up my mind, and thought back a few months, remembering every moment I'd spent with Bella. Each kiss, each touch, the night I'd made love to her. The day I confessed my love. I looked at him triumphantly as he processed it all, pinching his nose in that pathetic way he had. He back up a little, visibly shocked. "No," he repeated.

"Yes," I taunted. The atmosphere changed vividly in the house the instant Edward slid into a low crouch, growling. I smirked.

"How could you?"

"I love her, in a way you will never understand. I would never hurt her. You're the biggest threat this whole world has to offer her, and yet you hold yourself up as the high and mighty Edward: the man who thinks he's protecting that woman over there," I pointed to Bella for emphasis," yet you're the only one she should be afraid of."

"That's not true," he replied, taking a cautious few steps forward.

"Going to attack me, brother?"

"I am no brother of yours."

"Of course not," I smiled. I realized I was probably savoring this more than was necessary, but it was just too tempting. I couldn't resist seeing Edward lose for once. "Come on then." I beckoned him forward, mocking him openly, then glanced at Bella. Hopefully this would be over quickly.

He snarled and launched himself at me. I fought him back, quick-stepping around the room, daring him to catch me. He took the bait, and barged through the bedroom wall, after me. I leapt over the stairs, moving lithely around the fine china. He ignored the china and smashed his way to me, and caught up. His hand wrapped like a vice around my ankle, and I twisted and kicked upwards, flipping him back over the railing. But he wouldn't let me go that easily, his resilience paying off. Downstairs, Esme screamed at Carlisle about how we were destroying her beautiful house, and I chuckled. Edward leapt up from wear he'd fallen and fixed me with an enraged glare. I smiled tauntingly, then frowned as he charged. I escaped his grasp fully then went back recklessly towards his bedroom. It was dangerous to take the fight in there, but I hoped to take advantage of the glass walls. I tripped him and ripped his shirt, digging in my nails, ripping off a small chunk of his granite skin with a screech. He screamed like a madman, but I dodged him once again, then threw him through the window, smiling as the glass exploded around us.

Then, I glanced worriedly at Bella, and seeing that she seemed untouched by the glass shards, jumped out the window and ran after Edward into the forest, following his trail of broken and uprooted trees. I planned to run him to the Canadian border when suddenly an all-too familiar scent caught my attention.

"No way...." I cursed, then back-tracked to the house. I came plummeting at full speed out of the forest and stopped within inches of a tiny vampire's triumphant smirk.

Alice was back. In Forks. The very last thing I needed to have happen.

"Hello, again, Jasper," she purred, taking Dimitri's hand as he flew to her side, glaring.

**A/N:** How was that? Sorry it took so long to update. I'm on holiday now though! So I hope to have the final chapter up very soon! R&R.


	13. Closure

**Author's Note:** This has been a long, fun project, I must say. I lied though, when I said this was the last chapter. I just couldn't go without an Epilogue.

**JPOV**

_Alice was back. In Forks. The very last thing I needed to have happen._

_"Hello, again, Jasper," she purred, taking Dimitri's hand as he flew to her side, glaring._

...

"Alice...what in hell are you doing here?"

"Pet, go find the others please," Alice said to Dimitri, instead of answering me. He obeyed immediately and flew into the house. I rounded on her as she chuckled sourly.

"Got the dog trained well, eh?"

"I suppose I do-much better than you," she took a step forward, and I danced back on the balls of my feet, praying that Edward wouldn't return soon. "And as for what I am doing here, we never did finish our little...ah...quarrel, did we?"

"Alice, you are nuts," was all I could manage to reply. If she wanted to fight me, well then I was happy to oblige. I would have much satisfaction punching her pretty little face in. "But if you insist on losing, then I can only oblige."

"Alice!" Esme screamed in shock upon being led outside by Dimitri. She was the only one who looked remotely happy to see her, while Carlisle was markedly somber for a change. Rosalie was looking at Alice as though she were a loathsome bug, clearly wanting to squash her to the ground. Emmett, on the other hand, was simply confused. His unease radiated through the group, and I sensed the tense muscles bulging in his arms.

In response, I allowed calm to take hold of everyone. I hoped sincerely that I could keep this quiet and civil. The Cullens didn't need to die; just Alice. I would try to spare hurting them, after all they had done for me, I knew I owed them at least that much. Alice smiled at them, an obvious edge to the way her mouth curved made apparent in the sunlight. She turned and looked around them, then at Carlisle.

"Where is Edward?"

"He should be near the Canadian Border by now," I spat.

She pursed her lips. "Awe...don't tell me someone has been fighting with you, Jasper. Tut tut..." Her large red eyes gazed upwards at the house, registering the smashed window. "And what about dear old Bella?"

"Oh come now Alice, you already know the answer to that, surely," replied Carlisle.

"Yes, the poor fragile human's in the house, I'm sure? Mending?"

No one answered, but we all nodded in unison, distaste evident in our expressions. Then, a familiar scent came with the wind, along with a yell of shock, and Edward came hurtling through the trees, angrier than I had ever seen him. Everyone but Alice took a step back, and, on instinct, I moved to the side, somewhat into the shadows. He stopped himself just inches in front of the pixie's face, and I knew instantly that this was going to be bad. She smirked triumphantly, and he growled.

"Alice. I should have known," he said evenly, appraising her thoroughly.

"Yes. You should have."

"You look so pretty, as always in pristine arrangements." Alice preened in appreciation. She always was one for attention. Rosalie huffed, and I smiled at Emmett who immediately showered her with due affection. I sneered helpfully back at Alice, and she cocked an eyebrow in my direction, seeming to bargain with him silently. "Too bad you're so ugly within."

She laughed coldly and sneered. Her eyes slanted in determination.

Edward shook his head somewhat sadly. "I'm sorry, Alice. You've caused everyone so much trouble. I have no choice but to kill you." With that, he lunged lithely for her pretty little neck. She pirouetted out of his clutches and in an instant he was after her. She motioned for Dimitri to stay out of this as she climbed up a tree and hit him with a broken branch.

They fought nastily, violently, ripping at each other with every fiber of their beings. I didn't know who to root for, though, so I stood on the sidelines, out of the way, with everyone else. I hated Edward almost as much as I hated Alice, but I couldn't imagine choosing a side when I wanted to kill both of them anyway. So, in order to egg them on and hurry this mess up, I hurled negative energy towards them.

For awhile, the fight was interesting to watch. Much like as they had played chess numerous hundreds of times, I watched Alice furiously hurrying to predict Edward's coming moves, while she desperately tried to keep her mind clear of her own decisions. Edward read her mind at what must have been breakneck speed, his eyebrows knitted in serious concentration. Each time they moved, it was with delicately powerful damage and minute precision. All too soon they became a predictable duo; back and forth they went, striking each other in balanced moves, chasing each other to the ends of trees, scratching and biting; going for the kill.

Then, with a sickening screech, I saw Alice do the unthinkable. Her nimble hands grasped Edward around the head as she jumped down from above him. Edward was twisting and contorting in anguished peril, attempting to free his beloved body from her skillful clutches. Sobbing with pain and confusion, he began to beg her. "Why Alice, why?" She cackled strangely, sounding far more inhuman with her cold, high-pitched utterance. Finally, he clutched her hands, crying out, "please, Alice, please," but she did not answer. Her animal instincts had clouded her mind, and she only peered at him curiously for a moment, before twisting his head forcefully to the right.

Immediately, Esme screamed and ran into Carlisle's arms, who was only able to open and close his mouth in shock; as Edward's body crumpled to the ground. Emmett and Rosalie looked pained, and led Carlisle and Esme away into the house. I could feel their horrible sadness, and at once, I realized that everything they had ever done against me had been done in order to protect Edward; and me as well; they had just been trying to save us from such a terrible end. It had only ever been Alice who held malice in her heart, only Alice who wanted to hurt us.

So I swallowed deeply, letting their pain flow through me, fueling my own anger at the pixie smirking in front of me. I looked over the trees, to see the sun beginning to fall upon the horizon, and fixed my gave upon my ex wife. This ended now. She seemed to sense what was to come next anyway, and moved slowly towards me. Dimitri looked torn between staying out of this, and killing me himself. But he also seemed to honor her choice of a fair fight, so he slowly retreated into the forest. Either way, it was fine with me.

We began our fight to the death slowly, each of us calculating every sinuous movement we made. I tried not to decide until the last second which way to attack, as I knew she could see me coming. She tried to keep me on my toes, running me around the clearing as much as possible, as though she thought she could catch me off guard. But I was much too old for her, far too skilled, more experienced. After all, I had to thank my years in the wars for my abilities anyway. She was no match for me, and it was clear she knew it.

She focused more on escape rather than attack anyway, in general, so I just focused on attack. I knew I only had to watch my back every so often. Every time I moved I would let her get close to me, giving her a false sense of control. In reality, I was reeling her into my nimble clutches, like a Venus fly trap I attracted her , then betrayed her willful movements. So I ran her up a few trees, breaking and destroying branches, loosening her perfect footing, tearing at her exposed skin every time I could touch her. She screamed in tortured anger each time I clawed away some flesh; destroying whatever was in her way, hurling large rocks at me in an attempt to escape. I would never give up, and she couldn't yet see the outcome.

Then, we heard it. Bella's heart had stuttered then stopped, and someone gasped. I forgot what I was doing and where I was, and hastily climbed up the side of the house back to the room where she had lain. She looked at me in shock, as she seemed to have sat up from the bed too fast. Not yet used to her new body, she frowned at the emotions around her, her heightened senses scaring her. Her blood-red eyes met mine, and I couldn't help but shudder at the sight.

**BPOV**

Finally my eyes fluttered open as my heart thudded to a stop, and the last of the fire burned out from the tips of my fingers.I felt relieved to be aware of my surroundings again, but soon it was all too clear that I was alone in the room. I sat up too quickly, and looked around me to find Edward's room in shambles. The windows were smashed to pieces, and books and papers lay everywhere. My senses were alive in ways I never would have imagined, but when I opened my mouth to breathe, I realized I didn't need to. Familiar scents wafted through the air, but I couldn't let my self trust my own nose. I could feel the shock growing on my own face as my mind whirred with new, busy thoughts, and my head seemed infinitely filled with empty space; space to be filled.

I looked down at my hands, white, perfect, and unwrinkled; they felt like I owned them, but at the same time they were unfamiliar. Colors swirled in sharp texture and clarity everywhere I looked, and I could hear rushes of noises made by the wind and small animals I could not have made more distinct. Downstairs, I was sure I could hear the low buzz of hurried speech, and the rustle of clothing, as someone moved quickly about the house. I did not know how to move, but I realized quickly that my body moved so fast that I barely needed to think to do anything, I merely had to do it.

When the wind passed again, there was only one thing on my mind. Jasper.

And then he was there, in front of me, having climbed the side of the house and into the room. He looked happy, but his clothes were torn and dirty, and his scared skin looked miraculous in the low lighting. I met his eyes, but he looked away and shuddered minutely. The natural gesture hurt my feelings, and I wanted to curse him for returning too late.

But then I realized that my eyes made him uncomfortable, as I caught their red color in a watery glass shard still hanging on a window.

"Jasper," I breathed. And then he was falling from the window, someone's white hands clenching his leg and dragging him away from me.

**JPOV**

I didn't even have time to reply when I felt Alice's hands clutch my leg and drag me through the window. She tore at me in my vulnerable state, and Bella started screaming. She moved towards us, as I yelled in pain, but I wouldn't let her come near. I put fear in her to remain in the house, with all my strength concentrating on keeping her safe. "No! Bella, stay there!"

She obviously didn't want to obey me, but she backed up, still screaming and dry-sobbing. I fought with Alice, trying to get back into a position of power, but I was succumbing to her attack. Ashamed of myself, I finally flipped her off of me and ran for what was left of the trees, trying to escape. I was limping slightly, for the first time in hundreds of years, and I wanted nothing but to kill the bitch who was flitting among the trees, taunting me.

Finally, she caught up with me as I hovered in a tall evergreen, but before she could strike, I mustered all my strength and force, and ran at her at full speed. I stared in happy amazement as my arm carved its way through her solid flesh, catching her shocked and horrified as she looked down at her torn stomach. I pushed her away, letting her fall towards the ground screeching. Just as her body hit, I grabbed her neck and yanked, pulling off her head cleanly. It wasn't over yet though. I had to destroy every inch of her, so I immediately tore at her, pulling away chunks of fleshy stone and chucking it at boulders, watching it shatter and crack upon impact. Finally, she was in more pieces than I could count, and I ran up to the house, right past Bella, who now stood, stiff as a board, in the doorway.

In the kitchen, I found a box of matches and a lighter; and made my way back to Alice's remains. Quickly, I threw most of the matches on the stone and torched it. Then, I threw the rest onto Edward's ruined body, and stood reverently by his side until only the ashes were left. Bella had slowly approached me, clearly unsure how to talk about this. She took my hand tentatively, and held it reassuringly. I could not bear to look at her. Though this whole mess was finally cleared away, I did not know how we might make it through the night. I did not know how she felt about being changed, how she felt about the fight. And she seemed mostly lost in her own thoughts, for she did not move and did not speak.

For a while we simply stood there, watching the fireflies as the stars began to come out. I was content just to hold her hand in those long moments, just to feel her skin touching mine. Eventually, I tore my eyes away from the sky and let them rest upon her new form.

**BPOV**

I had expected Jasper's hand to be cold, from habitual understandings; but once I held it tightly in mine, I felt a comforting warmth I'd never experienced before. Strange, vampires _were_ warm. It must be that humans couldn't feel it because they were much warmer. I nevertheless preferred Jasper's hands now more than I had when I'd been human.

"You came back," I whispered suddenly. He turned to catch my eyes and nodded, letting relief flow through me. "And it was Alice, after all?"

"Yes, it was." I searched his eyes, but they seemed contentedly empty.

"But why, Jasper, why did she do it?"

"I'm not sure, Bella," he replied carefully, "I think maybe she couldn't bear life with us any longer. The Volturi obviously affected her with several choices. In the end, she seemed to choose the path she thought would give her the most happiness."

"It didn't have to end this way, then," I mused, anxiously moving into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, soothing me.

"No," he murmured, breathing on my hair,"but in a way, it's better it did. At least Edward may be at peace now."

I nodded. "I'm going to miss them, you know, the way they were before...this. I'll remember Alice the way she deserves to be remembered, and Edward too."

"What, as a pixie and a boy with a box of rocks for brains?"

"Yes, exactly," I giggled softly.

"You're such a good person, Bella. It's something I'll never take for granted. I'm lucky to have you alive in my arms." He was peering at me seriously, but I caught the hint of mirth to his tone. Without my new ears, I would never have noticed the tiny tonal changes in his voice that gave his meaning away. It seemed that humans really had gotten the short end of the stick, their ears where clouded by imperfection. No wonder it had been so easy to trust and believe vampires when I had still been human; I couldn't have told the difference if they were lying straight to my face.

"I'm not technically alive anymore," I said, then gasped. "I'll have to figure out what to do about Charlie."

"You should fake your death with Edward, a car crash that leaves no remains from a terrible fire. It will be hard, but with Edward gone already, the pain will be easier. Charlie will think you at least died happy, and you can live on happily no matter what happens."

"I'll only ever truly be alive when I'm with you, Jasper," I said at last. Again I took his hand, and he pulled me in closely for a gently passionate kiss. It had been a long time since I'd felt whole, but now, with Jasper, I felt as though I would never worry again.

Holding hands, we walked forward into the sunrise, our skin sparkling in the light, somber smiles upon our lips. No matter where my new life took me, I knew that it hadn't begun today. It had begun the first day I'd ever met Jasper. Though we hadn't known then what we would be now, our lives before our love shaped our minds, hearts, and souls, to make us the couple we were today. And though I'd never considered myself an emotional person, the feelings I'd felt in that first minute with Jasper would shape the minutes that I had cherished. These moments, I knew, as I looked at him, would fill all the future hours of my unending life with truth, meaning, and significance, and never had I been so happy to be alive.

**A/N:** So up next is the Epilogue. I hope you have enjoyed this journey as much as I have. Reviews please...


	14. Epilogue

**Author's Note: **My masterpiece is complete, my friends. So thanks for all your wonderful reviews! And a special thanks to **LaCalavera **(**Anne!**), to whom this is dedicated to, for yelling at me about why I took so long to write this and for putting up with me every step of the way.

This is the Epilogue, the final chapter, and the true end to Emotional. Enjoy!

**EPILOGUE**

Dimitri stood in the shadows of the forest outside the Cullen house. In all of his two-hundred years, he had never felt so angry and lost. He'd watched Alice's demise and eventual burning with tortured calm, a fiery hatred growing in his heart towards the man who had once been her mate and so aptly destroyed her. She had been his beloved, his world. For nearly a year he had known she was his true soul mate, the one he had been destined to meet and love forever. But now, she was gone, nothing but a memory, merely a trick of Fate.

Watching the triumphantly happy couple in front of him waltz into the house consumed him with rage. He was alone now, and though he had been alone for many years before Alice, back then he had enjoyed his bachelor lifestyle. But now, having no one around to care for him left him feeling pointless and betrayed. He had become so used to having Alice in his life over these last few months that the life he faced now was lonely and foreign territory that he was unsure of plundering through. He wandered aimlessly through the forest for a few hours before he decided that there was more here for him at the time being then there was back in Italy.

So, for three weeks he stayed in the little town of Forks, watching the Cullens. He stole contacts from the pharmacy and clothing from a local tux shop one night and forced down a rabbit's blood for dinner. He visited the "funeral" of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen for a short while, mingling with the human invitees to find out what lies Mr. Swan and Co. had been fed to keep them quiet and eventually happy.

Upon seeing the girl's father and divorced wife weeping over their daughter's closed casket, where no body lay within, he wondered if any of these people would understand just why they were so lucky. Yet he also pitied them their loss, understanding theirs was equal to his, although less monumental. He watched Mr. Swan with interest, and came to the conclusion that his daughter was quite similar in appearance and mannerisms, a revelation that only spurred his further distaste for the family tradition. He caught a glimpse of Bella, high above in the trees, looking over her tearful funeral party, watched her look with pain at the people he understood she loved. And, in a tree next to her, Jasper stood, looking sympathetically at his mate, ignoring the goings on of the party below them. He caught her eye, and they smiled lovingly, reassuring each other before wordlessly heading off to the car that was waiting at the end of the long drive.

Dimitri took one step out of the shadows, remaining half-hidden and quite unseen by the guests, and smirked slyly. He'd had the perfect idea. "I'll be coming for you, soon, Miss Bella."

**END?**


End file.
